I craved yellow for most of my childhood and young adult years.

I craved the warmth of yellow, the feeling of the sun on the back of my warm neck, and the sense of it against closed eyes.

To me, yellow was positivity, it took away all the darkness, the light too powerful to ignore, even with eyes closed.

I dreamt of yellow overtaking me and covering all my wounds in life, longing to simply shine, although I felt I was always a shadow.

I would imagine myself in a field of sunflowers, the sun shining, and I no longer needed to feel who I really was anymore.

Yellow is a personality, one that can truly affect others with attitude, happiness and a sense of belonging.

Until I realized, I had always been emerald green.

I longed for the feeling of yellow, but deep down saw the world through my eyes, wrapped in several shades of green.

My power runs deep within green, the never ending swirls of nature, eyes, and feelings wrapped into one.

I appreciate the down to earth, sensitive and powerful “green person” that I am.

And that is when it all hit me.

I tried to feel the yellow inside, because I felt like no one was giving it to me. I owed myself all the yellow in the world, and that is why I still try to give it to others. I needed yellow, but it was not who I was.

Green is my soul, it covers my eyes, wraps around all of who I try to be- yellow was something that I was just missing for a while.

If you ever need yellow, reach deep down into your body, mind and spirit, and you may just find that you too, have found out who you really are.

If you understand the void of yellow, I am sorry, and you are not alone. The sun will rise again.

Love always, Mel.