8 months, that is how long it took you to come back.

4 girlfriends, that is how many girls you went through in 8 months.

... we broke up in the end of July. You were about to go back to high school and I was starting my first semester as a college student. I knew that it was coming, I could tell because you never hung out with me, your texts got shorter, and you never seemed to care what I had going on. The happiness we had known the past five months was gone. You did not seem to care, so I did what any girl would do. I broke up with you.

What I remember the most vividly is the drive home; I drove for five minutes before I had to pull over. This glass shattering cry was a cry I had only cried once before in my life, when my granddaddy passed away. You will do anything to catch you breath, , the puddle in your eyes are filling up, and when they start to pour it is unstoppable. The way your heart melts to mush after you lose someone who has meant so much to you is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The only way you're making it through the pain is keeping yourself busy, and crying when you can't.

Slowly, I got over you. I moved on and made new friends. Finally, I was happy again.

But it is different now, 8 months have passed.

It is 11 P.M. when I get my first snap chat from you in months says "wyd?", "drinking a class of wine with my girls, why?" (which I was already about 4 glasses in at this point) I am convinced that I am over you, so convinced that you when you invite me over to hangout with you and your friends I go without hesitation. You have had a girlfriend for three months so it is clear to me that you just miss our friendship. You pose on Instagram like you are happy with her, she is all over your snap chat story so I have no reason to believe otherwise. She is not there when I get there...

... I walk in, immediately welcomed by all of his friends that I have not seen in what seemed like ages. It does not take you long to make your way to me, and takes even a shorter amount of time for us to find ourselves alone.

That kiss, that kiss that I longed for, for sooo long. It felt like the first time you introduced me to your mom, the way you winked at me through the fence that separated the stands from the baseball fields. Like home. I could kiss you forever; the way that our bodies fit together like putting together the last piece of the puzzle.

It all happened so fast, but I wish I could put it in slow motion and feel it all again. I had to stop it, we had to talk. I asked him, "what about your girlfriend?" and he replied, "I am about to break up with her." I asked him if he still loved me "I never stopped" ,is what he told me. I was crying at this point (imagine that). I was so puzzled to why he left if he still loved me and why he never came back to me. He told me I was beautiful even when I was crying, he wiped all my tears away. We planned to get back together and deal with the repercussions later.

Two days pass

We are both back in each other's arms, drunk of course. Playfully kissing, and laughing. Until we start talking again, and this time I am frustrated because he can not his explain his lack of fight when I broke up with him in July. I told him that I just wanted him to fight for me and that turned into me asking for too much. We start arguing and raising our voices, and slowly it is back to the way things were. All I wanted from his was fight, I need reassurance, that this time when things got tough that he was in it for the long run. After I realized that I was not getting anywhere I told him that we needed to take this weekend and tuck it in a file and forget about it. My heart and my head was a mess, and closure looked like our only option.

"Closure, this is closure. We are no good for each other." is what I told him as I got out of the bed and walked towards the door with my keys in my hand. I heard him mumble something and turned around to see him almost asleep. My last words to him were, "you had eight fucking months to fight for me, and you still can't." I slammed the door and walked out and all I remember is the car ride home.