In one of my summer courses, I had an assignment in which I was required to ask my mom a few questions, one of which being "what advice would you give me?" And her answer is something that I have thought about every single day since. I'm sure that she has told me all of this before, but something about hearing it for this assignment made it different from all the previous times. Maybe it is because I needed those words at that time. Maybe it is because I finally opened my ears and listened to the things she was saying. Or maybe it is because I am finally fully able to understand what she has been telling me. I'm not really sure what the reason is and I don't really care, I'm just glad that it has finally begun making sense. So, here is the best advice my mom has given me:
1. Never be the victim
There are going to be times that things aren't going to go your way, sometimes that is inevitable. But, you cannot let those times control your life. You cannot become so consumed with all the negativity and hurt that you fester in that self-pity. Yes, you must allow yourself that time to sulk, but you must move on. Do not get trapped in that – it will do nothing but hurt you more.
2. Never let the fear of failing keep you from trying
There will come times in your life that you will fail; it is inevitable. However, you must not let the thought of failure keep you from doing something that you want to do. Do not let yourself miss out on an opportunity because of what could happen.
3. Always search for the positive side in everything
It is so easy to let yourself get wrapped up in the negativity of this world, but do your best to avoid that. Although it may be hard, try your best to find the positive in every situation you face. Sinking into the negativity will only make things worse.
4. Never be too proud to seek help from others
There will come times in your life that you will have to swallow your pride and ask for help, this does not make you weak. It will not make you any less of a person than you are. You should never feel shame in asking for help because you cannot do everything on your own, no matter how much you think you can.
5. Learn to love yourself before asking someone to love you
You cannot expect someone to love you in the way that you deserve if you do not love yourself first. Before asking someone to love you, learn what it feels like to love yourself and if that person ever stops loving you the way you love yourself, then they are no longer worthy of loving you.
6. Be kind to others, even if you aren't sure you should
There will be people in your life who are not kind to you, and it will be really hard to be kind to them, but always try your hardest to treat others better than they are treating you. This does not mean to wear yourself down for someone who does not deserve it, but just always remember that your kindness should not depend on that of others.
And to my mom:
Thank you. Thank you for teaching me the things you have taught me. Thank you for being there for me whenever I need it. Thank you for all of the advice you have given me. Thank you for picking me up when I am down. Thank you for always loving me the way you do.
I love you to the moon and back a million times.
