Rape--a topic we hear about often. It seems as though every time you turn on the news, there is a story about someone, usually a woman, who was raped. Except that when you hear about it in the media and news, you hear about the brutal attack.You hear about the details of where and when the crime took place and who the perpetrator was. You see the sad look and feel of discomfort on the news anchor's face when they talk about the incident. You often hear people make assumptions that the victim asked for it. They want to know what she was wearing, if she was drinking, her past sex life.

You hear all of this about the rape, but no one talks about what happens to the victim after rape. No one talks about the feelings of self blame and hatred the victim is feeling. No one talks about how hard the days and weeks--months--following the incident are. No one talks about the depression you go through, the suicidal thoughts you have, the feeling of complete loneliness and isolation you feel. No one talks about how horrifying it is for the victim to finally break the silence and tell someone what happened. No one talks about the fear of people they trust, not believing them or blaming the victim for being raped. No one talks about how you avoid anything that remotely reminds you of that night you were raped. No one talks about the nightmares and waking up at three in the morning with your heart pounding, in a cold sweat, screaming, "No!"

No one talks about the very real like flashbacks you have days, weeks and months after you've been raped. No one talks about how you will flinch or cringe when someone touches you. No one talks about how you won't be able to eat or sleep because thinking about the rape makes you physically ill. No one talks about how hard it is to look at yourself in the mirror and see the reflection of the person who is now a rape victim--a statistic, a walking crime scene. No one talks about how you will blame yourself and go over everything you could've done differently to prevent the rape. No one talks about how much pain physically, mentally and emotionally you endure after being raped.

No, no one talks about those things--they only mention the act of rape itself as if the rape was the worst part.

Don’t get me wrong--rape is a horrible crime. The act itself is cruel, it’s dehumanizing it hurts the person physically and mentally. However, the aftermath of rape is equally as painful, if not worse. The anxiety you face, the loss of trust, the constant fear it will happen again. The self blame, the messed up emotions, the depression and post-traumatic stress you will have. The aftermath of rape is so much more than just the physical act of violence that occurred. The aftermath can last for weeks, months and even years. No one ever really gets over being raped; you just learn to deal with what happened and that is something we need to talk about.

We need to talk about how after facing such a heinous crime the victim doesn't just get over it after a couple of days. It doesn't just go away after a trial sometimes punishing the perpetrator. The memories do not disappear after a few meetings with a therapist. No, after someone is raped they are forced to live with the scars from that incident for the rest of their lives. They are forced to relive the event over and over. The victim survives the rape, only to have to fight like hell to survive the aftermath.