The Abyss of Doubt

The Abyss of Doubt

A poem encouraging those who are stuck in seeming doubt to stay true to your dreams. The abyss isn't as everlasting as it seems; you can do this!


Hey readers!

Sometimes dreaming can be challenging. There can be a time when we are stuck in between the "excitement" and the "fear" stages of accomplishing something. However, just because it may be hard now, doesn't mean it will stay this way forever. May this piece help you overcome your 'abyss' as you reach toward your goals. You can get through this!

There was something inside of her, but she didn't know what

Some people told her it was luck, some people told her it was love

But for the life of her, she didn't recognize what it was

It felt so new and so strange

'Was something about to change?'

She wondered this aloud, because for now,

She couldn't figure out what this feeling was, fresh and strong

It made her wonder for too long

Yet, it felt like dangerously wild expectation

It hit like wonderfully addicting dreams

And it spread the fear of luminous possibilities

It was both beautiful and terrifying

Electrifying and heartbreaking

'Anxiousness,' was what she came up with

On her dreams, for what she was always told,

'If it's too good to be true, it generally is.'

But she wanted to be happy for herself for getting this far

Even if it meant being so unsure of this feeling

So, yes, it was unknown

But didn't that mean she had grown into what she always believed she could?

Wasn't this a step into her marvelous dream that no one else understood?

The universe nodded in seeming agreement, and for now, she beamed

Even if she never understood what it all could mean

From then on, she called it, 'The Abyss of Doubt,'

She knew she wasn't immune to it, but she was figuring it out

There was no mistake that she would fall there again

But with unfaltering belief in herself, this visit would come to an end

'Dreaming is never easy, nor possible at first

But I cannot lose myself here in what appears like the worst.'

The Abyss of Doubt would surely visit again

But it made her resolve even stronger then

For her dreams were alive and well and undying

She would always fight to keep them thriving

Even in The Abyss of Doubt

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Working With People Who Are Dying Teaches You So Much About How To Live

Spending time with hospice patients taught me about the art of dying.


Death is a difficult subject.

It is addressed differently across cultures, lifestyles, and religions, and it can be difficult to find the right words to say when in the company of someone who is dying. I have spent a lot of time working with hospice patients, and I bore witness to the varying degrees of memory loss and cognitive decline that accompany aging and disease.

The patients I worked with had diverse stories and interests, and although we might have had some trouble understanding each other, we found ways to communicate that transcended any typical conversation.

I especially learned a lot from patients severely affected by dementia.

They spoke in riddles, but their emotions were clearly communicated through their facial expressions and general demeanor, which told a story all on their own.

We would connect through smiles and short phrases, yes or no questions, but more often than not, their minds were in another place. Some patients would repeat the details of the same event, over and over, with varying levels of detail each time.

Others would revert to a child-like state, wondering about their parents, about school, and about family and friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

I often wondered why their minds chose to wander to a certain event or time period and leave them stranded there before the end of their life. Was an emotionally salient event reinforcing itself in their memories?

Was their subconscious trying to reconnect with people from their past? All I could do was agree and follow their lead because the last thing I wanted to do was break their pleasant memory.

I felt honored to be able to spend time with them, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding on their final moments, moments that might be better spent with family and loved ones. I didn't know them in their life, so I wondered how they benefited from my presence in their death.

However, after learning that several of the patients I visited didn't have anyone to come to see them, I began to cherish every moment spent, whether it was in laughter or in tears. Several of the patients never remembered me. Each week, I was a new person, and each week they had a different variation of the same story that they needed to tell me.

In a way, it might have made it easier to start fresh every week rather than to grow attached to a person they would soon leave.

Usually, the stories were light-hearted.

They were reliving a memory or experiencing life again as if it were the first time, but as the end draws nearer, a drastic shift in mood and demeanor is evident.

A patient who was once friendly and jolly can quickly become quiet, reflective, and despondent. I've seen patients break down and cry, not because of their current situation, but because they were mourning old ones. These times taught me a lot about how to be just what that person needs towards the end of their life.

I didn't need to understand why they were upset or what they wanted to say.

The somber tone and tired eyes let me know that what they had to say was important and worth hearing. What mattered most is that someone who cared was there to hear it.

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My First College Gal Pal Road Trip Was Amazing

Every girl should have one good girls trip.


In some way or another, everybody has a list of things they want to do in their lives before it's all over. After all, we're human. There's adventure to be had in every life. One thing I have always wanted to do before I grew too old and grey was go on a road trip with my gal pals to the beach. A couple weeks ago, I achieved this memorable milestone, and it allowed me to open up to new surroundings and experiences.

On this trip, I went with two of my friends from college, Kait and Lindsey, to visit my roommate Elizabeth in Virginia Beach. This was pretty big for Lindsey and I because neither of us had been to Virginia Beach before. Thankfully Elizabeth and Kait knew their way around the city, so we never got lost on our way to and fro.

Like most vacations, my favorite parts probably took place at the beach. I'm always at utter peace stomping through mushy sand or leaning down to splash the salty water that tries to knock my short self over. We took pictures and did something us college girls rarely have time to do especially in school: Relax.

The four of us did not live up to the crazed stereotype of girl trips in movies. Although I finally got a chance to sing along to Taylor Swift in a car ride with my friends, so that's always a plus. We played "Top Golf" one day, and by some miracle, I actually won the second game by a fair amount after much humiliation in the first one. We visited some of Elizabeth's family, and I finally got to meet her giant dog Apollo (I call him 'Wolf Dog'). Everyday was another chance to ask with enthusiasm: "So what are we doing today?"

Our trip wasn't like the movies where we all cried or confessed our deepest darkest secrets. Everything the four of us shared was laughter and this calm feeling of being at home, in the chaotic peace of each other's company. We understand each other a little better due to finally seeing what we're like outside of Longwood University. After this, all I can say is that we're most definitely planning the next one!

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