The 13 Guys You Meet In College As Told By The New Ken Dolls
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The 13 Guys You Meet In College As Told By The New Ken Dolls

They seem all too real to just be plastic toys.

The 13 Guys You Meet In College As Told By The New Ken Dolls

The internet is going crazy over Mattel's new line of Ken dolls. Or more appropriately titled, "The Next Gen Ken." These new dolls range in body types, hairstyles, and skin tones. They even break the traditional Ken wardrobe by each having unique wardrobes. Really Mattel, way to go! I mean isn't it about time Barbie has more than one boy toy? Is it realistic for Barbie to have one man her whole life? With all these new characters being thrown into Barbie's life, it's hard to avoid relating these plastic figures to men we have all met IRL. Most likely, during college.

1. The Guy Next Door

    Literally and figuratively. This is the super sweet guy that knocked on your door during Move-In Day to introduce himself as your neighbor. Maybe he even helped move around heavy boxes. Although friendly, you never thought anything special or romantic of him. But that's not to say other girls don't. This guy low key pulls HARD. On occasion, you'll make awkward eye contact with some random girl, wearing one of his oversized tees, leaving his room early Sunday morning.

    2. The Athletic A**hole

    Seriously, this guy only talks about how much he can bench press or how many TDs he scored last game. News flash: no one cares. All around, a bore to talk to. Although he may have game on the field, he definitely lacks game off the field. But, hey, at least he has a nice bod. Plus, he's treated like a local celebrity, so that's kind of cool.

    3. The Sexy Straight-A Student

    This is the guy that sits next to you in class who somehow aces every assignment with putting little to no effort in. Naturally, his good looks and smarts attracted you. To catch his attention you probably did 1 of 2 things: 1) you answered one of the professors questions in an extremely eloquent yet pretentious manner tricking him into thinking you're smart AF or 2) you bombed the next test purposely as an excuse to ask him for a tutoring session.

    4. The Frat Brother

    He's a real people pleaser. He'll be sure to flash you a smile or give you a wink from across the bar to make you feel welcomed. His main goal is to make sure everyone has a good time at his house. Needless to say, your friends warned you about his irresistible charm, but you fell for it anyways. You shrugged it off as being fun and casual to excuse the non-thing, thing, you had together.

    5. The Sleaze

    You would be sure to have at least 3 DMs and a Snapchat from him every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at around 2 a.m. asking, "u up?" You have no recollection of how you two met. Honestly, you probably both swiped right on Tinder and just started talking that way.

    6. The Guy When You Say You're "Done With Guys" Guy

    It was a typical Sunday morning. You were out to brunch with your BFF complaining about some fuckboy. It was then that the two of you pledged to go on a boy hiatus for the semester. You took the oath seriously. That is, until Thursday night when you met this hunk. He seemed like a normal guy. Perhaps he bought you a drink or texted you the next morning just to say hey, and so you thought, why not give it a shot? Breaking your promise, just to find out he too is really just another fuckboy.

    7. The Business Major Babe

    He always looks very put together, even for his 8 a.m. on Fridays. He's the man you date when you think it's time to settle down. His ambition and drive to be successful are total hubby material. You started to dream of a glamorous future with him, your many houses and your perfect children. Rushing into things? Maybe. Did you care? Nope.

    8. The Hipster Hottie

    You probably met him at one of your favorite coffee or book shops. He's mysterious and brooding and very philosophical. He's an activist for everything. He especially advocates going green. In fact, you bought a S'well bottle and started biking to class to show him how thoughtful and caring you are. Although he really is interesting, sometimes you can't help but just nod and laugh at everything he says. Of course, throwing in the occasional, "Wow, that's so cool" to make it seem like you're paying attention, while you're really just wondering how his effortless man bun looks 10x better than your hair-do that you spent an hour on.

    9. The Forever Friend-zoned

    The dynamic of your relationship is best described as that of a brother and sister. He's incredibly cute and super nice. A total 10/10, but for whatever reason hooking up with him would just be weird. Your friends and even your mother are begging you to just marry the boy already. But, that romantic spark just isn't there.

    10. The One That Got Away That You Never Had In The First Place

    Yeah, not much about him. He's just dreamy. Every girl wants him. He's just totally oblivious to it.

    11. The Spoiled City Kid

    He's most likely from Los Angeles or New York City. He either has a Malibu beach house or Hamptons summer house that he talks about non-stop to impress you. While he may not have succeeded, you use his money to your advantage. At the bar, you continued flirting with him to manipulate him into buying rounds of Cosmos for you and your girls all night long. Sorry, not sorry!

    12. The Steamy International Student

    He's unlike any guy you've ever met. Exotic looking and super chill. He plays soccer but calls it football, which is super confusing. He sounds worldly and intelligent when he speaks. Most importantly, his accent. You fall more and more in love with him each time he opens his mouth, that's just how mesmerizing his accent is.

    13. The Poser

    This boy does everything for the gram. He's likely to post group pictures with 5 other girls with the caption, "all my baes," or something corny like that. Most definitely rides a Swagway to class, has a light-up fidget spinner, and rocks Yeezys. He's just the kid that EVERYONE knows for really no reason at all.

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    This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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