Ah, Thanksgiving.
Where we as Americans celebrate a holiday completely around food.
Also, a holiday where you try to dodge the conversations of "when are you and your boyfriend getting married?" "when will you have children?" "will you have children?"
But, let's focus on the real situation here. Food.
Food is sacred and should be treated as such. Joey Tribbiani is someone who follows this rule, and the food is his all-time favorite.
These are the stages of Thanksgiving, as told by Joey Tribbiani.
1. Prepping Takes FOREVER
The day before is the day that grocery stores dread, and the day we are simply tortured by watching our family members prep everything that we are going to eat tomorrow.
2. Deciding on whether to fast the day before
Should I not eat to save all the room in my stomach for tomorrow? Should I eat the pizza that my uncle ordered so we did not have to cook anymore? I'M JUST NOT SO SURE.
3. The morning has arrived
It's almost as great as Christmas morning! OH MY GOD. Finally, I can shove my face with mashed potatoes and cannot be judged for it.
4. "No, you can't eat any of the dinner food yet"
Listen, I am here for the turkey and mashed potatoes, deviled eggs and dip can only fill me so much.
5. THE TIME HAS COME.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 365 DAYS FOR THIS. MOVE THE FUCK OVER.
6. When someone dares to ask if "you're going to eat all of that"
Yes, Aunt Linda, I WILL be eating all of these stuffed shells, turkey, and mashed potatoes. IF YOU ASK ONE MORE TIME IF I AM SHARING THIS OR THE PIE, THE ANSWER IS NO.
7. Post Eating Depression
I ate more than a normal human should, but then again, who said I was normal.