Yesterday my family started talking about our Thanksgiving plans (yes), in June. I know Thanksgiving seems like it's far away, but trust me, it's much closer than you think. Those few weeks of school zoom by as we wait in anticipation to be reunited with cold turkey and reduced cranberries. In my opinion, Thanksgiving is quite overrated-and the horribleness of this day is generally overlooked.
1. Look at how you're celebrating
Remember in elementary school our teachers would have us make DIY Native American costumes and put feathers in our hair? Well here's a real picture of me doing just that (4-year-old Sophia wasn't as woke as current Sophia). It's cultural appropriation my man. Pilgrims took land and valuable crops from the Native Americans who were already there, yet the public thinks all they did was spread love and joy. Well you know what else they spread? Syphilis.
2. On a less serious note, the food is sub par
It's a weird medley of flavors that always end up being cold because you waited so long for everyone to seat themselves at the table. What if you don't eat meat? Sucks. Have fun loading up on cold mashed potatoes.
3. Two words: Cranberry Sauce
Cranberry Sauce deserved its own section because of its horrific qualities. Its congealed canned tartness makes it the most disgusting side dish. The nauseating texture wiggles out of the can and oozes into your nightmares. The only reason this substance should be consumed is if it's the only thing left in your bunker during the apocalypse.
Might as well just stick a sign on your face that says "I know I'm tall, classes are good, no I don't have a boyfriend, no I don't want to tell you my GPA, and no I don't know what I'm doing with my life." I'm hard enough on myself...by myself, so any interrogation or meaningless questioning is unwelcome. Please and thank you. I appreciate the interest in my life but let's ask better questions like what are my views on evolution? Or perhaps communism? Literally anything is a step up from "what happened to *obscure ex-boyfriends name*?". Yes, I do love my family very much but this need to be said for everyone's sake.
5. The rapid change in schedule
I'm just going to say it. We are taken from our self-determined schedules of studying, sleeping, eating, and partying and placed back into civilized society. We are asked to act like normal adults when are clearly used to living in the fantasy world of college, which has much different social rules. Going home definitely is a bit of a culture shock.