It's almost impossible to know who the toxic people are in your life until you take a couple steps back and look at the whole picture. At the start this year, two toxic people left my life and I can honestly say now, it was a very low point for me. I was anxious on campus, cried a lot, and felt so many looming feelings of not being good enough. If trust were a plate, mine was carelessly dropped on a marble floor in the middle of a museum for all to see. It was very obvious to my friends how low I had hit and how broken I was. In the end, the people I was mourning over, weren't even worth the tears and fears. Toxicity is everywhere and although it's unavoidable, getting out of toxic relationships is something that I couldn't be more thankful for
These two people were introduced into my life at a time where I had just got out of a summer relationship that ended in shambles. I was looking for new friendships so both of these relationships formed at a very convenient time in my life and for a while, things felt good. Long story short, the boy and girl ended up dating behind my back and it felt awful on my behalf because I thought that the boy and I were entering a relationship. I was toyed with. Eventually, I noticed how poorly these people were treating me, but by the time that happened, it was too late. When the conclusion of these relationships arrived, I didn't know if I should be happy or sad because even after they left, I was still questioning myself.
I felt myself comparing myself to the girl and what she had that I didn't and had to endure a month of aftermath drama from the two. I had to mentally detox from the confusion, shock, and anxiety I dealt with after these relationships came to an end. Although I felt used and abused, I was thankful I only was close with these two people for a couple months as my closest friend was dealing with the toxicity of the girl for years. Recently I have gotten into a new relationship and the stark contrast between the relationship I am in currently and the relationship I was entering at the beginning of the year is like night and day. I am a firm believer in the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" and I believe that these toxic people were introduced into my life in order for me to recognize a healthy relationship even better. My trust in people was very fragile for a while but, with this year coming to a close, I have become wholly aware of the good people in my life. I am thankful for toxicity because without it I would not be able to recognize the strong bonds I have with the people I surround myself with now.
Thank U, Next <3