It’s no secret that I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Something that I don’t often share, however, is the positive impact that pets have had on me and my mental health. I love animals, and my passion for taking care of and spending time with them is something that my parents have always noticed (my mom has begged me countless times to become a veterinarian).

Being in an animal’s presence has always had a very soothing effect upon me, especially in times of personal crisis, depressive episodes, or anxiety attacks. There have been many times that I’ve relied upon my pets, mostly dogs, to provide a source of silent, yet loyal support and unconditional love during my darkest times.

This has been especially strong with my own cat, Blue. Blue happens to be an ESA, or an emotional support animal, and he’s helped me tremendously with my mental illnesses. I spent several months contemplating adopting a pet to benefit me in this way and talked with my therapist for

I adopted a scrawny, underweight, four-month-old tuxedo kitten with an upper respiratory infection on November 2nd, 2017. When I first met him at the shelter, the things that struck me most were his eyes, which are a rich orange, and his bobbed tail. He and his littermate were kenneled together, and he bothered her non-stop, just begging to play; I had been looking at adult cats, but when I came across him, he was just too cute to pass up. I got to sit with him in a small room to get better acquainted with him, and while he was hesitant and shaky at first, he warmed up to me in no time.

As soon as he crawled into my lap, I was done for.

I had not been expecting to adopt a kitten, but here I am, nearly four months later, not once regretting my decision to adopt him and all of his quirks.

I decided to write him an open letter, both to thank him and to reflect upon everything I’ve learned from him.

Dear Blue,

I know you can’t read, and you definitely can’t understand my words when I talk to you (which I do a lot), but I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything you’ve taught and done for me.

You may be a talkative, hyperactive kitten who loves to play-bite just a little too hard, but I love you nonetheless. Even when you wake me up at 3 a.m. to play with your toys or at 5:15 a.m. to eat a very early breakfast, I don’t mind. I know you do these things because you want and love attention, especially from me.

Attention and affection are things that you’ve always given me (alongside scratches and bites, but you’re a kitten and think we’re just playing, so I understand), and I can’t even begin to express my gratitude to you for this. Even when I’m feeling down or want to isolate myself, you’re always ready to make me smile and re-energize me.

When I have to get ready for class or work, it’s always so hard for me to tear myself away from you— if I could, I would take you with me or stay with you forever. You’re always there to greet me when I come home, and that will always be one of the best reasons for me to get out of bed and get motivated to see my commitments through.

Responsibility and sticking to a schedule are two vital skills that you’ve taught me to better focus my energy upon. Making sure that I take care of you has caused me to improve upon and continue my own self care practices because I want to make sure that I can provide for you; if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of you, and that thought pushes me to focus on myself and my needs alongside yours.

You give me a reason to get out of bed, even if it is early in the morning and just to feed you (P.S. I’m really glad you like the food I buy you, and I’m so lucky you’re not picky).

You’ve also given me the opportunity to learn to be more confident in being on my own because, even if I’m not in the same space as my loved ones, that doesn’t mean that I’m alone or unloved. Again, you can’t talk (you do love to meow and purr a lot though), but that doesn’t mean that your presence goes unappreciated. You, alongside so many other family pets, have always been there to support me with cuddles, kisses, and a strong desire to play or nap to lift my spirits.

You’re my sweet, chunky nap buddy, and you’re also my wide-eyed, bird-watching hellion; I love every part of you, even when you drive me crazy. I know you love me, too, even when I have to spray you with water to keep you out of trouble.

I can’t wait to see how you turn out, and I can’t wait to learn what else you have in store for me.

Thank you for teaching me a love that I never knew before I adopted you.

Love,

Your owner and best friend