It's easy to laugh about breakups or bad relationships after they're over. I can admit I'm guilty of that. My boyfriend and friends have heard plenty of jokes about people I've dated or were formerly friends with, and I've thought "What was I thinking?" more than I care to admit when it comes to who I've let into my life.
However, as easy as it is to talk about the bad, all of the negativity, there is a hard truth in the good they have brought you. As much as we know that the people who are no longer in our lives are out for a reason, that they weren't healthy relationships to maintain, and there is still a lot that was gained from those relationships. That's a truth Ariana Grande's newest single, "thank u, next" celebrates. In finding that truth, Grande finds not only an acceptance of what has been love and been lost, but the importance of loving and embracing all that is good about yourself.
Self love is by no mean an easy thing, and failed relationships don't make it any easier. Often times, when friendships and relationships end, you are forced to confront what it is the other person believes is wrong with you or what you need to work on in your interactions with people day-to-day. For me personally, I've had a friendship end, and I was shocked to find as a very emotional and openly caring person, I didn't really care that it ended. My reaction concerned me, and I was less worried about the friendship itself and more about why I wasn't that affected by it. However, I realized that I felt this way because I have experienced worse losses before and survived, and I have too much self-love to ever try and force myself to change for someone who didn't truly want me around. That is a key aspect of the kind of self-love "thank u, next" emphasizes, the pain of losing others and finding yourself in that pain.
When it comes to relationships ending, you can't just sit there and lament over how it ended because of your perceived faults. The truth is, if you and the person were meant to be in each other's lives, you would be and you'd make the effort to. Some people just aren't worth the effort, and moving on is better than trying to keep them around. Relationships and friendships come and go, but "thank u, next" should remind everyone what is important, the love and support of family and friends who will truly stick around through whatever, and more importantly loving and supporting yourself.
Breakup songs aren't always as peaceful as "thank u, next," and the clear anger within them can make us angry and upset when we're going through the same things. Taylor Swift is the undisputed breakup anthem queen of the '00s, but a lot of her songs about exes focus on the trouble they caused and why they were mistakes in her life. "Thank u, next" takes on a new perspective, noting that the relationships were unsuccessful, and not all of them and their ends were smooth sailing, but Ariana Grande is still thankful for them because of how they've impacted who she has become. That kind of approach to former relationships is an approach that has been lost in a lot of modern music, but I think needs to be revived.
Ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and even ex-friends can cause a lot of pain in our lives, there is no doubt. They can aim to try and purposely cause us pain, like trying so hard to show us how amazing they're doing without us because they're still bitter. In the face of all of that, Grande reminds us that the best approach isn't to fight bitterness with bitterness or anger with anger but to just be the bigger person and be thankful for the blessings they gave us in the good times without allowing for more bad times.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is just move on and say to yourself "thank u, next."
