A Thank You To The Girls Who Didn't Love Him Right

A Thank You To The Girls Who Didn't Love Him Right

We all move on for the better.
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I think we can all own up to the fact that when we break up with someone, we don't speak the best about them.

We remember the end when everything was tense, and we do our best not to remember the good parts because it makes everything hurt worse. Yet sometimes things don't work out, not because they were terrible people, but simply because they didn't love us right. I am very happy that my boyfriend's exes didn't love him right. It means that I am now able to.

As I am sitting here thinking about how I am the luckiest girl in the world to have my man, it makes me think about his past relationships. I struggle with the idea that I am actually different, an attribute I can thank my not-so-good exes for giving me. I know a lot of the negatives about those relationships, and there is always one thing in common.

He didn't love them. Not really anyway.

I am a firm believer that you cannot truly love someone who does not love you correctly in return. Things may seem happy and they may seem easy, but there is a good chance that you are with that person simply because it is indeed easy. This is why so many people look back on those they dated in high school and wonder what in the world was wrong with them. It was convenient and the choices were limited.

Therefore, you were "happy."

Life changes as you get older and people change. You realize that people didn't love you for you. They didn't love you for a future together. They loved you because you were the star athlete, the one with money, a popular one that everyone liked, or maybe the needy one who could be there just when they needed you. When I think about who he has dated in the past, I see those things. Yes, good intentions were there, but it was not right.

I cannot explain how happy I am that none of it was right.

I love him when he's moody, has had a rough day, has no money, sports aren't working out for him, he isn't happy with his schooling, and many, many other times. I love him when he's happy, energetic, rambling on about something I know nothing about, and all of the other times he is unexplainably happy.

The girls of his past didn't do that. They didn't love him like he needed to be loved.

If you are one of those girls, thank you. Thank you for helping to shape him into the man that he is today, but thank you for not being right for him. That sounds selfish, but I want to be selfish when it comes to him. You took advantage of the time you had with him, and I will never do that.

I am thankful for every single second that I have with him, and nothing will change that. Thank you for the lessons you have taught him, but please know that he is in the best hands possible now. I will love him like he deserves, and I will make him happy for the rest of his life.

I wish you true happiness, but thank you for letting me have mine.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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To The Guy Who Treated Me Like Crap

In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.
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Dear (insert guy's name here),

I’m sorry that I acted as your footstool for so long. You treated me terribly, and for some reason, I couldn’t see that. I only saw you as someone who liked me and wanted to be with me (at least, that’s what I thought). I was like a little puppy dog following you around, completely loving and loyal. I was always waiting for you to text me, posting Snapchat stories for the sole purpose of knowing you would see them and always hoping you would come around when I was out with my friends so I could show you off.

No matter how hard I wanted us to work out, I now realize it never would have.

You weren’t right for me because you treated me like I was your inferior. You were always talking to other girls, flirting with them, and treating me like a child. You were so selfish. Only doing what you wanted and coming around when you felt like it and taking advantage of me. You made me feel crazy when I got mad at you for all the little things. I was so caught up in you that I tried to ignore all of the signals right in front of me.

You just weren’t right for me.

I now know that the right guy for me is the one who respects me and chooses me over everyone else. The guy who never makes me feel insane for questioning something, the guy who understands when he’s done something wrong and can live with the consequences. You just simply couldn’t provide that for me. In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

While I may have been so upset when our relationship ended, it made me realize who I am and what I deserve. I deserve so much more than someone putting in 50 percent. I deserve an endless amount of respect and communication. Putting in your all for a relationship when they can’t do the same is not healthy and it’s childish. I hope someday you can find a girl that you can love infinitely but I take a lot of pride in knowing that girl won’t be me. I may be single for a really long time or I may find the one tomorrow, either way, I have so much hope that one day someone can give me their all and make me feel incredible.

For now, I’m done wasting my time on guys like you who make me feel miserable.

Sincerely,
The One Who Got Away

Cover Image Credit: Trinity Kubassek

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Ghosting Is The Coward's Way Out In A New Age Of Relationships

What is so difficult about telling someone you're not interested?

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A while back, I was strolling through Target with my mom in the book section when she asked me what "ghosting" was. I explained to her that it was a common term for when two people were talking or dating when suddenly, one of the people fell off the radar with no explanation.

They became like a ghost––hence the term. Sometimes, it was even mutual ghosting.

The term has become so common, in fact, that my mom found herself staring at a book entitled "Ghosted," a story centered on a young woman who falls in love over the course of a week and unexpectedly finds herself ghosted.

I've read countless articles on this topic. Some are in favor of this decision, saying it's completely acceptable and even encouraged in some situations. Others find it gross, disrespectful and cowardly.

I have to say, I must agree with the latter.

With the exception of abusive circumstances, there really is no excuse not to pick up the phone and be honest with the person you've been talking to.

If someone has been investing time into you, getting to know you, then you owe it to them and yourself to end things properly. If you have gone on a few dates with this person, then expectations are now in place that should be respected. Communication is one of the major foundations of respect in any relationship––be it a romantic or a platonic relationship.

It's common sense and basic decency. When did those fly out the window?

If you aren't interested anymore, there's nothing wrong with that! The offense comes when you choose the coward's way out instead of choosing a more honorable route. Maybe the other person won't like what you have to say, but at least you can say you did the right thing.

Ghosting is a sign of emotional immaturity.

It's a selfish act that only succeeds in making the recipient feel bad about themselves, wondering what they did wrong...what they could have done differently. Not only is it hurtful, but it could lead to trust issues with future dating attempts, derailing their own love life.

You see, your decision has a domino effect in ways you probably don't care to see.

What is so difficult about telling someone you're not interested? Why not give yourself and your partner the closure that will help each of you move forward?

In all honesty, someone who ghosts you isn't really someone you want to be in a relationship, to begin with.

Think of it this way: They showed their true colors and you effectively dodged a bullet. Maybe it's the new dating trend, but it's not ethical or healthy by any means, and their poor decision may have saved you some major future heartache.

For now, just keep kissing those frogs. One of them is bound to turn into your prince/princess.

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