A Thank You To The Girls Who Didn't Love Him Right

A Thank You To The Girls Who Didn't Love Him Right

We all move on for the better.

I think we can all own up to the fact that when we break up with someone, we don't speak the best about them.

We remember the end when everything was tense, and we do our best not to remember the good parts because it makes everything hurt worse. Yet sometimes things don't work out, not because they were terrible people, but simply because they didn't love us right. I am very happy that my boyfriend's exes didn't love him right. It means that I am now able to.

As I am sitting here thinking about how I am the luckiest girl in the world to have my man, it makes me think about his past relationships. I struggle with the idea that I am actually different, an attribute I can thank my not-so-good exes for giving me. I know a lot of the negatives about those relationships, and there is always one thing in common.

He didn't love them. Not really anyway.

I am a firm believer that you cannot truly love someone who does not love you correctly in return. Things may seem happy and they may seem easy, but there is a good chance that you are with that person simply because it is indeed easy. This is why so many people look back on those they dated in high school and wonder what in the world was wrong with them. It was convenient and the choices were limited.

Therefore, you were "happy."

Life changes as you get older and people change. You realize that people didn't love you for you. They didn't love you for a future together. They loved you because you were the star athlete, the one with money, a popular one that everyone liked, or maybe the needy one who could be there just when they needed you. When I think about who he has dated in the past, I see those things. Yes, good intentions were there, but it was not right.

I cannot explain how happy I am that none of it was right.

I love him when he's moody, has had a rough day, has no money, sports aren't working out for him, he isn't happy with his schooling, and many, many other times. I love him when he's happy, energetic, rambling on about something I know nothing about, and all of the other times he is unexplainably happy.

The girls of his past didn't do that. They didn't love him like he needed to be loved.

If you are one of those girls, thank you. Thank you for helping to shape him into the man that he is today, but thank you for not being right for him. That sounds selfish, but I want to be selfish when it comes to him. You took advantage of the time you had with him, and I will never do that.

I am thankful for every single second that I have with him, and nothing will change that. Thank you for the lessons you have taught him, but please know that he is in the best hands possible now. I will love him like he deserves, and I will make him happy for the rest of his life.

I wish you true happiness, but thank you for letting me have mine.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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Dear ML

But you should have known

I should have known when you would get angry with me when I would lock the car doors.

I should known when you hid me from the world for 6 months because you didn’t want to be seen with me whether you admit it or not.

I should have known when I was embarrassed when I made a mistake because once again, whether you admit it or not, you were laughing at me. I suck at pool and instead of wanting to help me, you laughed and told all of your friends that you didn’t want me on your team because i sucked. You put your ego and need to be “cool” and I was further isolated from you.

I should have known when you refused to want to talk to me on my bad days when i didn’t know who i even was because it was too much and reminded you of her.

I should have known when you ditched me for your friends, gave up our alone time to see them and all the times you knew i didn’t want to be out til late or the times I was not in the mood to see anyone else but you, and still ended up with you and your 5 friends in a cold basement where you sat as far from me as possible.

I should have known when you had a “girl friend” sleepover your house when your parents were away and once again, whether you admit it or not, something more happened.

I should have known when your actions pushed me towards someone who values me more than you.

There were so many signs that I ignored because for once, i let my guard down. I loved you blindly and never saw the little things that I never knew mattered til I was sitting in his car in his friend’s driveway when he said “if you feel awkward, we’ll leave right away” or how he always introduces me as his girlfriend to people who might already know. You’ve harbored so much anger to me and calling me a cheater when you refuse to accept the fact that it was your actions since the day we met that always stayed with me.

You're mad at me for being happy. You're mad because you can't see the fact that you pushed me away. You're mad because you know deep down that you should have known how much love i had in my heart and now you're the one who's bitter and alone.

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To My Past Love

I hope that when my past love finally loves again, they think of me.

To someone I used to love,

At one point in my life, I thought that I loved the greatest person that I'd ever know. I was taught not only how to love, but how to find myself when I was all out of sorts. If my parents, my friends, or even my school was getting a little rough, my past love was there. My past love was a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. Every time I think of my past love, I think of the person hugging their mom for comfort. I don't think of that awful fight we had, when were screaming our heads off at each other. I don't think of the time that I ended up walking away crying.

When I think of my past love, I think of the long roadside conversations we would have. We talked about everything in that old beat up jeep that had nothing besides a few stations to listen to, but I always found a way to find at least one song that I knew.

We sat there and laughed for hours. I wouldn't want to move from the passenger seat and I never got pushed to leave. I loved just sitting there and I wished it could have stayed like that forever. Knowing how we are, we fought and we disagreed. We made "us" more and more complicated. More and more people got involved, to the point that we didn't recognize ourselves anymore. The people we once were vanished.

I don't regret anything. I wish I could've been there more. I remember always getting told that I was special because we always found our way back to each other, even if we did move on.

Loving another will be difficult. But I was taught how to love, and I recognize this experience for it. My big heart was grew, but I was also taught how to protect it. My past love was the feeling of protection.

At one point in my life, my past love was the only reason I got out of bed in the morning. If I got to see them for at least one hour, it put a smile on my face that would last the rest of the day. One afternoon, I came over and I was overwhelmed with homework. I just found a comfy spot on the couch and frantically started writhing. My past love was patiently sitting there and waited until I was completely done. It made me see the patient side.

Little things made me fall hard. The way my past love's hair looked after a nap. The way my past love always remembered my order to my favorite restaurants. After almost every fight, reaching out and apologizing was my past love's first instinct.

My character and my self-confidence was immensely improved. I didn't want to put myself first when we were together. My concerns were only about us and I was happy with that. I hope that I made my past love happy. I hope that even after these three years, I made an impression on my past love's character. I hope that when my past love finally loves again, they think of me.

Cover Image Credit: google images

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