Miscarriage is viewed as a dirty word in society. I find myself whispering it at times. Did you know that 1 out of 5 woman experience a miscarriage? The statistic grows. Did you know that 1 out of 12 woman experience a second miscarriage?

I am the one out of the twelve.

A year ago I suffered my second miscarriage. It was harder than the first. It makes you question yourself as a woman. It makes you distrust your body. I looked in the mirror for months disgusted that I could not carry a life. I felt as though it was my fault. I believed I had murdered my baby.

During this time, I did not want to talk to anyone. I drifted from all my friends, I drifted from my family, and I even closed myself off from my fiancé. I would see parents out in public with their babies and I would get angry or envious and held all the pain inside.

I surrendered and did not speak of it. I did not talk to my friends about it, because why would it be something they want to hear? I did not talk to my fiancé about it, because I felt like he would not understand because it did not happen to him. But, it did. He suffered too. It happened to both of us. It may not have been his body, but it was something he changed his life around for and was excited about. It was something we stayed up planning and dreaming for. It was something he took care of me during. It happened to him, it happened to my family. It happened to everyone who felt for this baby and for my small family.

The support was there. It was ready for me to take.

But, because we do not hear about people we know having miscarriages and because they do not speak about it, I felt like I could not. I felt like I should not. I believed I would be frowned upon for discussing it and I would see the pity in everyone's eyes. I do not want pity. I want to be able to talk about it and discuss it without having to worry about people's thoughts or emotions for me. This should not be a reason to not get the support we, as women, need during such a horrific event.

Why can we not talk about it? Miscarriages are common. The most common cause is because of a chromosomal imbalance in the fetus that would prevent them from developing. Miscarriages are a medical condition, it is not something we do. You can not prevent them and you can not provoke them.

Someone you know, maybe more than one person, has suffered through this and has felt all the things you feel. We need to start speaking up and being there for each other as woman, mothers, and fathers. Miscarriage is not a dirty word. We do not need to be silent, we need to be supportive.