There's a photograph from years ago that I like to look back on once in a while. It's me from when I was in fourth grade and just starting to play volleyball. My hair is tied in two pigtails with scrunchies and I'm wearing shorts that are too long for me. When I look back on that picture, I'm instantly flooded with memories from my volleyball days and how much I miss it. I miss waking up early in the morning to go to tournaments, I miss practicing every day, and I miss the feeling of victory.

It all started in fourth grade when I picked up a volleyball for the first time. Well, it was more of like I got hit by the ball for the first time. Needless to say, it hurt at first, but I was having the time of my life. I had played other sports before, but volleyball called out to me. I would soon grow to love volleyball, and it would become my sole sport. By the time seventh grade came around, I felt that I was ready to start playing competitively. My dad signed me up for a few clinics that were being put on by a local volleyball club and I went to tryouts. I was then placed on a team and thus thrown into the world of club sports.

Soon enough, high school came around and I began my high school volleyball career on the JV volleyball team. That season was by far one of my favorites. Not only were we really good, but we all bonded together and became good friends. Two of those girls from that team are still some of my closest friends to this day. As high school went on, I was moved up to the varsity team and it all eventually culminated to a league championship my senior year. Sure, it wasn't a state championship, but having a banner that said champions on it was on the proudest moments of my entire life. That championship feeling would carry over into my final club season when we won the Southern California Qualifier and earned a bid to Junior Nationals in New Orleans.

Going to Junior Nationals was something I had always wanted to do since I had started playing club. I had dreamed of being on a team that was good enough to go to the coveted tournament and compete amongst the best. We may not have gotten the result we wanted, but just going to New Orleans was fun. My family and I had a blast exploring the French Quarter, listening to jazz in Bourbon Street, and eating some of the best fried chicken I ever had.

When it came time to go to college, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to stop playing volleyball. A few colleges had contacted me about playing for them, but they were schools I wouldn't normally look at. I wanted to go to a bigger school and the schools that were contacting me were so small that I felt like I would suffocate. So, I let go of volleyball and decided to go to San Diego State University.

This narrative is all too familiar to many former athletes. We start playing a sport when we're young, gain an everlasting love when as we grow up, and then have to give it up when we start to attend college. Giving up something you love is never easy, especially when it's been a part of your life for so long. When you play a sport for as long as I did, it's absolutely heartbreaking.

I miss playing volleyball, but I am thankful for the many years I spent playing. As hard as it was, I learned a lot about myself. When I am really passionate about something, I put my all into it. When I have nothing to lose, I take risks I wouldn't normally take. Most importantly, when I know that victory is in sight, I kick everything into high gear. If I hadn't played volleyball, I wouldn't be as sure of myself as I am now. I love who I am, and a lot of that thanks goes to the many years I spent playing volleyball.