Coming Out To My Traditional Mexican Family (PART II)
A continuation of my coming out story.
Previously, I told the story of my life before I came out to my parents. Coming out may seem really easy for many, but for some us, it can be a nightmare. You never know what to expect as the outcome.
I tried to become someone I was not, just so I would not disappoint my parents, but I knew deep down I was gay and I just couldn't hide it anymore.
Never feeling enough was a constant mood for me before I came out. There was a feeling of isolation and distance from the world and I started to believe I didn't belong in it.
Suicidal thoughts came Into my head. I was in a very dark place and was trying so hard to scream for help. i found no other way out of this hole full of darkness and it was eating every bit of my soul.
After convincing my mom that I was straight, I knew my time was up. I needed to tell her who I really was but couldn't find the right way to tell her. I came out to my best friend first, she took it very well, which did not surprise me because she was my best friend after all.
I started feeling more comfortable with myself after I told my friend and started accepting who I was. Other friends around me took it very well and they did not care because they liked me for me and not my sexual orientation.
This happened when I was 13 to 14 years old and I was still in the closet to my family, but everybody else knew I was gay.
Once I turned 15, I started to become interested in other guys and wanted to start dating. I knew that it was too risky to date because my parents would eventually find out.
I knew it was time and I had to tell the truth to my parents.
It was Oct. 18, 2015, I was about to turn 16 and I just finished my freshmen year. I told my parents while eating dinner how I was feeling because I couldn't hide it anymore.
My mom started crying and was furious at me. My dad was shocked and didn't say a word. He left the house and drove off. My mom kept asking what they did wrong and I had no words. I said it was no one's fault and I couldn't do anything about it.
Three months went by without them talking to me. They excluded me when they would go out or go to family parties. I was depressed and lonely not knowing what to do. My dad was very hard on me and made me do things to make me a man.
I couldn't take it anymore and decided to end my life. Too many emotions were making me fall apart and I knew I couldn't take it anymore.
I slit my wrists and tried making myself not scream with the intense pain, but eventually, my dad caught me and instantly took me to the hospital. Me going to the hospital made them realize that I was their son and nothing regarding my sexuality was going to change that.
After the incident, I began therapy for almost a year during my sophomore year. My parents were more accepting of who I was and were not treating me like they were. I finally was happy for once in my life.
I started dating and they did not care if it was a boy. They loved me and they just wanted to see me happy. So for everyone out there scared to come out or accept your sexuality, you don't need to be!
Why does being straight have to be the default?
You're never alone in this world even if you're loved ones reject you. Seek your happiness first and you will do amazing things in this world.
Love is love and you should give zero fucks. So smiles up and frowns down :).
