So please, for the love of all good things - learn to understand us!
1. Don't speak before we do - unless it's dire
Non-morning person... I feel like this information speaks for itself, so please just let us have some silence before you engage in conversation. Blood, death & severe catastrophes are appropriate times to speak before we do.
2. Don't assume there's something wrong with us
I promise that there's nothing wrong with us, we just aren't rays of sunshine. Asking us if there's something wrong just furthers that we look unpleasant in the morning and you're making a big deal about it.
3. Wait for us to finish our routine
Like anyone, there's a method to the madness. Let the madness complete itself before you're trying to stab yourself in the mix. Dear gawds LET US FINISH
4. Seriously, Leave us be
We don't want to talk about your problems at 8am, Ok? It's too early for that nonsense - and we already (usually) have to be on our way to work to deal with those people so pleaseeee just let us be.
5. We don't want to go to the gym at 4 am... EVER
Don't ever invite us to the gym if the sun isn't even awake. Hard pass. Hard no. Just... Don't. K thanks 🔥
6. Caffeine is a must - if you're going to speak to us
Whether it be Coffee, Tea, Energy Drink, or Soda/Pop - please dear gawd let us drink them before you open your mouth. We will thank you, and you will thank our caffeine. PRAISE THE CAFFEINE!
7. Don't touch the bedroom curtains if you want to live
You remember that scene is “X" movie where that person throws open the dark curtains to let in the GLORIOUS sunshine? DON'T DO THAT! Not only are we cranky humans, we are basically allergic (metaphorically, usually) to the sun and it's horrible brightness first thing.
8. Silence is key
We prefer silence (until we don't, you feel me?) - just a simple run-of-the-mill morning that includes no talking, probably a shower & definitely some well-needed caffeine.
9. Bed is our first friend
There's a reason we are comfortable, with the shades drawn and the comfy set. Our bed comes first a foremost before anything. In fact - it takes a lot of us extraneous energy to even get out of them.
10. Our brains are only working at 1/2% before 9 AM
I'm not fully functioning before 9 am. It's like my brain refuses to fully operate until I get the necessary shower/sleep. Most of us operate in this manner. Just know that we are trying - albeit it's probably not working very well, BUT we are trying. We aren't all there fam - bear with us 🤷🏼♀️🙃
