It's Been 7 Years, But I Miss You More Than Ever
The sting of loss is still so ever present in my life.
They say time heals all wounds, but I hate that saying.
Time doesn't heal all wounds — God does, and honestly some wounds take a long time to heal.
Seven years ago, I lost my best friend. The sting of loss is still so ever-present in my life. I told myself that this year would be easier, but man was I wrong.
This year has been hard. With school driving me nuts, it is so hard to not have my dad just a phone call away. There are so many nights where I lay in my bed, thinking about what my life would be like if he were still here. Would it be easier? I don't know. But all I know is that this sting would not be here. God has been working on my heart so much in the past year, and growing me, as well as challenging me.
There is no predicting what I am going to be feeling like every morning when I wake up and my feet hit the ground. Somedays I am happy and ready to hit the ground running, and other days I lay in bed a little longer, and pray that God gives me strength to make it through the day without crying. I am facing challenges I did not what to have to face at 20 years old.
Dreading the whole month of October and then the holidays that follow it, because nothing is ever the same without my dad present. There is an overwhelming sadness that falls over me, and then I get stuck reminding myself that it wont always be like this, because one day we will be reunited. I sometimes wonder how I came this far since I lost my dad. I didn't even think that I could make it through the night that he left.
I remember staying up all night just trying to make sense of everything that happened, and trying to get used to a reality that just became mine. But here I am, still standing and wanting my dad back more than ever. Thank you for teaching me how to be kind and compassionate toward other people, and for loving me showing me how I should be loved. Thank you for everything. I miss you everyday.
Olivia White
