Take It From An Introvert, It's Ok To Be Alone
Don't feel ashamed for needing to take time for yourself. After all, the key to connecting with others is through learning to connect with yourself first.
In this increasingly loud and social world that emphasizes connection with others, there is a push to be in constant communication with those around us. We share everything we do on social media, from tweeting our thoughts throughout the day, snapping pictures of what we're currently doing, and sharing posts that we connect with. We're constantly being told that the key to success is through networking with others and to do this we have to always be talkative and outgoing or else these connections are hard to make.
So as an introvert who more times than not leaves these social situations feeling tired and exhausted mentally and emotionally, the pull to be social with others seems like a challenge I never can quite master. At times introverts like myself may feel like something is wrong with them because they struggle with social situations, and like they need to change a portion of their personality for others. Well, I am here to tell you that if you're an introvert or even an extrovert who loves being around people, it's okay to want to be alone at times. In fact, it is even necessary.
When you are constantly surrounding yourself with others and going to social events, you may find that you'll lose sight of your own self, your own interests, and perhaps your self could even be shaped by those around you. This becomes dangerous because then when you find yourself alone, you may feel uncomfortable. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. When the party is over, when the event has ended, when the posts have been posted and texts have been sent, you are left with your self and your soul. If you don't embrace this alone time, it can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction with your life along with insecurity about who you really are. Embrace being alone.
Being alone also helps to clear your mind and soul. When you are in your own silence, and your own thoughts, you've cleared everyone else's opinions from your mind and can finally think deeply and explore the inner workings of your own mind. This is an intimate time you need with you and only you. Within this time is when you can channel your beliefs and your attitudes and reflect on what makes you, you. This is the richest and most beneficial thing you can do for yourself and will help you when you do find that it's time to interact with others. When you understand yourself fully is when you can present yourself the most authentically to others.
Don't be afraid of doing things on your own as well. Go to the library alone and take time to peruse the endless bookshelves, picking out books to read that inspire the deepest parts of your soul. Go to the movies alone. Trust me, I've done this many times and it is honestly a liberating experience. You get to see the movie YOU want to see, not what your friends want. You get complete silence and can actually focus on the movie instead of making conversation with others. Plus, you won't have to share your popcorn with anyone else, so that's a plus! Challenge yourself to also try going to a restaurant alone. I know, this sounds crazy, right? But try it. You'll find that you can have more time to think and clear your mind than when you're trying to interact with someone you're eating out with, and thus you will have more time to reflect.
When you're in public places alone surrounded by people in groups and couples, you may feel anxious at first. This is only natural because you're doing something "out of the norm" from those around you. But embracing this uneasiness and this anxiety makes you a stronger person, and also more confident. It wasn't until I started going to places alone, eating out alone, and shopping alone, that I started feeling more in tune with myself. I also noticed that I started feeling more confident. For so long I held myself back from doing things because I had no one to go do them with. Encourage yourself to realize that you only live once, and it's not worth missing out on things you enjoy just because no one else you know will go with you.
You are your own unique person, and you can't expect to find someone who enjoys everything you do. So hang out with yourself, take yourself on dates, and live. Embrace being alone, and appreciate the person you are. Love yourself first, as cliche as that sounds. Because people come and go. You are the person who stays. As an introvert, I encourage all people to love being alone and take time for yourself, because what comes from these times is truly something no one can take from you. Get to know yourself, and see what you find.
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