Sometimes I Prefer The World A Bit Blurry
Ignorance is actually pretty bliss...
I have been wearing glasses since I was seven years old. When I was young, I loved wearing my glasses. Noticing each individual leaf on a tree or the distinct smile lines on my mother's face was an absolute dream. Now I prefer to take off my glasses at times, despite being considered legally blind. Twinkle lights glow brighter when blurred. It is easier to ignore the graying hairs when viewed in a softer light. All in all, the famous cliche "ignorance is bliss" couldn't be truer.
I overanalyze every aspect of life from relationships, to what I wear, to the weather. It can become exhausting. I am mentally drained from the constant analysis of my decisions while being physically sore from switching actions every three seconds. The glasses that grant me the opportunity to view more clearly expanded into these rigid lenses I metaphorically use to view the world. There are these moments where I close my eyes and beg the world to slow down. To make the world simple again. It is important to accept the world's vagueness; allow yourself to enjoy specific moments rather than dwell on every consequence or every reason. There is a time to ask why, however, isn't it better to just not sometimes? Details make things messy despite how contradictory that might sound. When you truly think about it, all actions are performed by people; every person has a whole lifetime behind them. Throughout that lifetime, baggage is collected. Perfection is unattainable.
A famous quote by Henry David Thoreau says the following: "I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life." Notice how Thoreau mentions how one must only face the most necessary facts of life, not all of them. We can't stop ourselves from growing up or experiencing pain. We cannot will the world to be simple or force the earth off its spinning axis. Perhaps the world has always been this complicated; where actions never come from a direct cause and decisions are made based on numerous pros and cons lists; where the glasses, as well as age, allowed me to see the horrors that used to be out of focus. Letting go of the minuscule tidbits that can ruin your perception of what actually matters in life might allow for some blissful ignorance.
Beware: Invisible Disability Causes Hazard When Taking the Stairs
The hurtful comments are heard and you look inconsiderate to those of us living with an invisible disability.
Sometimes those of us who have physical disabilities get upset when we have to be excluded from fun things such as family holiday games, keeping up pace with friends at the gym, or tolerating the heat of July mixed with the noise of fireworks on the 4th. Knowing there are some things in life you just aren't able to do, or misery will prevail if you choose to do them, really freaking sucks. At 19 years old, it makes you wonder what some of the bigger steps in life will look like. However, I do know I can't take the steps and the elevator is the safest option currently.
You might see it as laziness for not going up one flight of stairs, while I know it's saving my body from collapsing. Five years of living with a collapsed iliac leg vein, intractable migraine, daily persistent headaches, Ehlers Daniels Syndrome (EDS), neuropathy in my hands and feet, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), and immense brain fog is REALLY challenging. It's not only physically draining, but mentally as well. This is especially true as a full time college student living out of state. So at the end of a long day or in the morning right after I've gotten out of bed, stairs are really dangerous.
I've missed steps and fallen forward down compete flights of stairs. The danger in that is EDS equals loose connective muscle causes for a looseness in joints; this leads for them to easily pop out of the socket. I have the vascular version so I bruise extremely easily. Simply bumping into the counter will leave a huge bruise, never mind tripping up a few steps. With POTS, I get dizzy and blackout frequently. If I'm going to fall, I'd prefer it not to be down a flight of stairs on a rough surface. I already have major issues with migraine pain; the goal is no concussions meaning not increasing chronic migraine pain.
So you can think one flight of stairs is nothing and you are able to think that. However, I guarantee that to a person with an invisible disability, stairs are everything. They are the difference between a surgery and no surgery. They are the difference between life long injuries and continuing on with our current battle. They are the difference between exasperated pain and making it where we have to be while staying at our current pain level.
Elevators are lifesavers. They are a simple solution for those of us unable to take the stairs; that's why we have first right to them. If you've never noticed, there's little signs outside most elevators stating that. On the downside, they lead to cruelty from careless strangers; the quiet comments you just can't shake. The comments are an inconsiderate method of being ignorant, while choosing to pass up a learning opportunity.
Invisible Disabilities are everywhere. Use your ability of kindness we all have to be more understanding and willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that just because you cannot see something doesn't mean it's not there or isn't happening. So beware of your gift; challenge yourself to be the one to take the stairs.