To The Person Who's Sad And Feeling Like The 'Forgotten Friend,' Never Underestimate Your Value
You aren't forgotten, life just sometimes gets in the way of people letting their loved ones know they care.
You may have been feeling this way for a few hours, or maybe you've felt like this your whole life. You feel as if you were to disappear your friends would probably not really care or notice. I'm here to tell you that it's not true — there are a few things I want you to consider before labeling yourself as worthless.
First off, quality friend groups are made up of different types of people. Sure, there are similarities among the people in your group, but you are all individuals who have your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. This usually results in "types" of friends developing (the mom friend, the spontaneous one...you get the idea). Typically if you feel as if you are the "forgotten friend," it just means that you are quiet or not as outgoing as the others which is totally okay!
Think about it this way — if everyone in your friend group was a mom friend, who would the mom friend take care of? If everyone in your friend group was spontaneous, who would make sure that y'all don't go off the rails and end up in a dumpster at 3 a.m.? Like most things in life, all friend groups need a balance between what attributes they all have.
If you are feeling forgotten, there is nothing wrong with you. More often than not, it is probably just from not seeing your friends enough or from life being so stressed that your friend(s) forget to remind you how much you mean to them. Likely, they may just need some support from your end, and they'll send it right back! This can take the form of getting food together, buying them a small gift, or just sending a quick, supportive text message.
However, what is important to remember with this is that not everyone responds to certain methods of appreciation in the same way. Some people really hate hugs, some people refuse to accept gifts, and some people see texts as getting in the way of their day and what they have to do. Remember that what you might want or need doesn't correlate with what they want or need. If you aren't sure what to do, pay attention to how they react when those things happen to them (also, the five love languages is a great way to organize this!).
Finally, you should express how you are feeling, especially if you have been holding onto it for a really long time.
If these friends are your true friends, they don't want you feeling this way because they have either felt that way before and know that it is terrible or they have enough empathy to imagine what you are going through. Part of having friends is leaning on them when you are feeling down even if they may or may not be part of the reason you're feeling that way.
With all of this in mind, remember that it is better to find new friends than to stay with friends that make you feel terrible. If talking to your friends about how you're feeling makes you feel worse than before, it is time to look for some new friends. Again, it is about balancing the expectation that they will make you feel supported and loved with the reality that we tend to feel self-conscious about ourselves.
I hope that my words spoke to you in some way or another, and I hope that you find support wherever you are. Just know that no one deserves to feel forgotten or left out, including YOU!
Much love,
A former forgotten friend.
