Why I'm Okay With Being Ghosted
After a year of facing one of my biggest fears, I've finally come to terms with the reality that we now live in.
If you were to ask me a year ago how I felt about being ghosted, all hell would've broken loose. Emotional backstories, tragic heart breaks, and a down pour of tears would've been my answer. Yeah, being ghosted sucks. I feel like everyone in our generation has experienced it by now, whether they were a "ghoster" or a "ghostee". But it's a thing now, and unfortunately that means we're going to have to learn to live with it.
I say that I'm okay with it now, and I sincerely mean that. Sure, it still stings a bit, but I've become numb to it at this point. Since September, I have been ghosted eight times. EIGHT times. So yeah, that happened... Even if I was only talking to a guy for a few weeks, it still hurt, and, yes, I still listened to breakup songs for days on end. But regardless, through it all, I really learned a lot about our society's culture as well as myself.
There are articles that explain how to "minimize" ghosting or how to "prevent" being ghosted, but in all reality, if someone wants to cut off all communication with you- there's nothing you can really do to stop it. Sometimes my guy friends will say, "Well if you've been ghosted 8 times then maybe you're the problem", but quite frankly, that right there is the real problem. Regardless of the circumstances, cutting off all communication with no explanation is a real coward move. Face your feelings. Tell a person how you're feeling. Stop hiding behind a screen and pretending that you're okay with what you're doing. You know how to talk to people, so do it. And even if you don't, trying is better than nothing.
Our generation might never shake this bad habit of "ghosting". Hookup culture might take over. Who knows what will happen? So that's why it's beneficial to just accept the reality of it all. If you get ghosted, shed a tear and move on. Learn from it, live from it, and grow from it. That's what I did. It doesn't hurt me anymore, but at the same time it hurts like hell. I guess it's just a pain that I've gotten used to now, and maybe that's a good thing? I don't cry over it. I don't sit around wondering what I did or what I could do to fix it. I just say "F*ck it" and move on with my life, because there's no use being upset over a guy who probably snorts cocaine with his friends at 9:43 PM on a Tuesday. I'm better than that. You're better than that.
It's funny. I almost find it empowering at this point. To know that a guy is that scared to confront me about his feelings is a whole new level of power. To think that I did that is just mind boggling.
I'm an English major. So getting my thoughts and feelings out is quite easy, whether that be on paper or just getting them out into the universe. So when other people clam up and just decide to cut off all communication, all prose and verse, all thought and feeling, it's quite a sight to see. But that's just the difference between them and us...we know what we want in the world and we aren't afraid to say it. We aren't afraid to think and we aren't afraid to feel. And having one less person in our lives who hinders those thoughts and feelings might just be a blessing in disguise. So go ahead, ghost me.
I dare you.
And I thank you in advance.
Because becoming numb to the obstacles that the 21st century throws me is just fueling my ability to grow. And after this year, trust me, I've grown a lot. I don't get irrationally mad when I get left on read like the girl who checks her boyfriend's Snapchat score every 25 seconds. I don't cry when I get "coincidentally" cancelled on for the third night in a row. I harness all of that energy and I make myself a better person, because being a better person doesn't just empower me, but it's a big clap back at all of the people who've removed themselves from my life this year.
And I promise you I'm only going to clap back harder.
