Here's To The Relationships That Taught Me About Toxicity

Here's To The Relationships That Taught Me About Toxicity

Here's to the friends and colleagues, crushes and family members that made me realize that just because someone means the world to you doesn't mean that they should be in your world.

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You can learn a lot about what was wrong in a relationship after it's over. Like they say. hindsight is 20/20. When you start to realize your worth, you'll realize when people are not treating you the way they should be.

Thank you to the toxic people in my life. Thank you for showing me I deserve more. Thank you for showing me how to stand up for myself. Thank you for proving that the quality of a relationship is more important than the quantity of the years you've spent together. Thank you for proving to me that cutting someone out of my life doesn't have to mean I have to stop caring about them.

Because of you, I've learned what behavior is acceptable, and I have no qualms about letting people who are new to my life know if they overstep their bounds. I was introduced to toxicity so gradually that I was able to keep up with it and remove it every chance I got. Now I know the signs. I know far too many people who have not been so fortunate.

Because of you, I have been able to appreciate those who have been there for me more than I ever could have had I not met you. Because of you, I know how not to act toward those I am supposed to care about. You have taught me the importance of analyzing my own behavior and holding myself accountable when I have made mistakes because I have watched the collateral damage that occurs when you do not take responsibility for your actions.

So thank you. Thank you for all you have taught me about myself. Thank you for all you have taught me about the world. Most of all, thank you for not leaving me bitter. None of you were awful people, you just weren't people who were good for me. Thank you for giving me the judgment to see that difference.

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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A Well-Deserved And Long Overdue Thank You To My Boyfriend

I know it's cliché, but he deserves it.

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Thank you for choosing me and loving me unconditionally every day. I do not deserve the love that you radiate, but I am beyond thankful for it. Thank you for showing me kindness in every action and for listening to every pointless story I have. Thank you for being the person I can go to 24/7 with any piece of news. Thank you for being the only person who can make me laugh when I am not in the mood at all. Thank you for picking up all of my pieces and wiping all of my tears. Thank you for making sure I always feel loved.

Thank you for believing in pinky promises just as much as I do and for making sure you never break them. Thank you for always reassuring me even though it gets annoying. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for knowing when I need a confidence boost, when I need a push, or when I just need a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for taking the time to learn everything about me.

Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how grumpy I get or how hard our week has been. Thank you for never going to sleep mad and always saying "I love you" before we leave. Thank you for the tight squeezes and play fights. Thank you for the deep belly laughs and jam sessions in the car. Thank you for the late-night phone calls when I can't sleep and for doing everything you can to make me better when I'm sick. Thank you for loving me no matter what and no matter when. Thank you for all of the memories. Thank you for holding on tight and never letting go.

Thank you for being everything I could ever want and for showing me what love really is.

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