I Don’t Know How To Say No: Is That Considered Giving Up?
Trust me, it doesn't make you a bad person; employers won't hate you.
I'm on the best adventure of my life: a month in Sydney, Australia. Yet I'm so overloaded with responsibilities from home I can barely enjoy it. Instead of dancing at the silent disco, I spent my night writing one article, editing a second, on a conference call with my internship coordinator and studying my internship manual. I also started some homework for the two classes I'm taking while here and answered the emails piling up in my inbox (14-hour time difference waits for no man).
This month I juggle two classes, exploring the city around me, weekly articles for The Odyssey, onboarding a summer internship, coordinating UF personal responsibilities (housing, scooter, sorority) and taking on a new leadership role within UF.
I barely had the breath to get through that sentence, let alone actually do all of that. But I guess I am. I'm not telling you all this to brag, or even to make you feel sorry for me. I'm telling you this because it is absolutely ridiculous how much we take on.
When opportunities come up, everyone has that internal struggle of "Can I do this? Can I add another thing to my already busy schedule?" It's your dream opportunity, but there's no time in your schedule for anything else. So, you start to think: What if I didn't have this every week? Can I rescind acceptance or participation in something I already committed to?
Young adults have become professional applicants: we know how to apply, the right things to say and do, exactly what is needed for your best shot. The one thing we never learned was how to say no, how to say: 'this has been great but it's time for me to move on'. We are so afraid of failure, of negative perceptions or people talking badly about you that we stay in positions that don't benefit us anymore. We have used up all the potential growth, networking opportunities, and skills, but we are petrified that moving on will harm us down the road, that we won't get another opportunity, we won't succeed, etc.
Will it make your life better, or will it stress you out? You have to know your limits.
Recently I heard something interesting: Employers would rather you move up the ranks in one organization than see experience in multiple places. We go behind our employer's backs to interview, thinking it is bad practice to try for something after we have committed to something else, even if it means giving up our dreams.
Once in a while, you hear stories about people following their goals and their dreams, but why isn't this is the norm? Why are employers putting so much pressure on us to accept or deny so quickly? They take forever to respond (if you get a response at all).
I don't have any answers here, but I know I'm not alone. I don't know how to fix it, but I know that it's vital to stand up for yourself, to do what you think is best for you, regardless of what anybody else thinks.
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