The Reality Of Being Someone Who Becomes Attached Too Easily
I don't like feeling so dependent on others.
I've never understood why, but I've always been someone who becomes attached quite easily. I find someone I like and I latch on. It can be a scary thing too because it makes it that much harder if and when the person leaves. I become so dependent on people and don't like change, so if that person leaves, I'm left distressed.
Kids are the hardest. I become extremely attached to kids and am genuinely heartbroken if I'm not able to see them. Working in childcare makes it even harder as kids tend to come and go. When I had to leave my job for three years at a daycare, I was devastated. It felt as though my heart was ripped out of my chest. It drove me crazy how worried I was about the kids and if I would get to see them. I spent a few days reached out to parents to make sure I could still be a part of their lives.
It hurts to have so many people that you've clung on to.
I've latched onto people that were no good for me too. I kept them around simply because I was scared to let them go. I was willing to risk my happiness and own well being just to have them in my life. I'm so focused on being my emotions that I don't think about the logic about it all. I'm so desperately reaching out to them for any kind of approval or love that I don't see what they're doing to me.
I'm just scared to lose people.
I've lost people before. I've felt abandon and alone and I'm afraid to be in that place again that I grab onto anyone I can get ahold of in hope I won't fall down. I just don't want to feel alone and scared. I don't want to be the odd man out.
Not only do I get attached too easily, but it happens fast too. I try to stay calm and not be overwhelming because I don't want anyone to think I'm strange. I don't need to spend much time with someone before I feel like I need them. I try to talk to them often and do anything I can to keep them close to me and in my life.
It's very draining to spend so much energy on others as well. To care so much about everyone and worry about where you stand with them or how to keep them around. I've tried to let go just a little bit. I try to reason with myself that I don't need to be so overbearing, that I need to step back and give people room to breathe.
If there are people in your life that you feel are overwhelming and always nagging you in some way, just take a moment to think about why. I don't want people to be mad at me or think I'm annoying. That is not my intention.
I'm just someone who gets attached just a bit too easy.