The hard reality behind sororities
Not everyone has the same outcome or picture perfect life in Greek. They just don't.
Going into my freshman year of college, I had no idea what to expect. I thought I would have amazing roommates, study hours in the library with friends, great football games, maybe a few parties... and, sorority recruitment. Growing up, I had always known I wanted to rush. My cousin had been in Theta, so I had always seen her life and events and knew I wanted to be apart of that too.
However, that very quickly turned.
The process.
Going through recruitment was great, each day you got a little more dressed up while screaming music with your roomies all excited to see where you end up, and then you go and meet girls in each sorority. Sounds simple. But each round as you dropped sororities you didn't blend with, they could also drop you. So of course, you had some heartbreak when the sorority you thought you loved didn't feel the same or whatever else that entailed.
Eventually, they tell you to "trust the process" and "you'll end up in your perfect home" and then comes pref. You place your top two chapters in rank order and anticipate which house will call you home on bid day. Bid day is exciting! Opening your card to see where you now call home and running to see your sisters and go out for a night of fun events with all of your newly found sisters.
This is only the beginning.
Sororities and outside world.
Sororities have never been greatly liked around the country. It isn't a secret that people see the "spring breakers" aspects as well as how movies portray sorority girls instead of what really goes on behind the scenes. Not to mention the lack of interest from those without knowledge when they hear the price of dues.
What you don't see is the volunteering, working with a philanthropic institution linked directly to their sorority. For Chi Omega, it's Make a Wish. Delta Zeta is the Starkey Foundation every day Chi Omega is domestic violence, etc. The sisterhood there is the main aspect to make everything work because of the bond that exists.
"You're paying for your friends."
I hate to do this section Truly... I do. However, I resigned from my chapter due to personal reasons, and after that, my entire outlook changed. When I resigned, I cried. For a long time, I couldn't bear to see my once sisters on campus because I didn't want them to see me different or not understand my reasoning. Little did I know exactly how that would end up on their part regardless. Being part of a sorority, I fought this insanely hard every single time someone said these words. It all goes back to the "behind the scenes."
However, with my personal experience, this is exactly how Greek worked. Now I'm not here to rip on any of my sisters or my previous sorority or anyone else's. This is a personal experience that has affected me. When I told my closest friends that I was resigning through broken tears they all said the same thing. "You'll always be our sister" "The bond isn't broken" "let's all grab lunch" etc., etc., etc.
None of this is true, these girls do not address me.
Every so often someone will, generally if they see me on campus or in public. But other than my big and maybe two or three other girls... not a single one of my "sisters" has reached out to me since.
So, yes, I'm sorry. But the bullshit argument we all fight is entirely true for some of us. And yes, that shit does hurt.
"Did you get hazed?"
No. I can't speak for other sororities or other schools, but we aren't tough frat boys. No hazing.
"Does it take up a lot of time?"
Absolutely. Between socials with fraternities, philo and other volunteering and even as simple as chapter meetings...they all take time. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but planning class and work around a 7 p.m. chapter meeting every Monday with additional extra things changing each week can become a lot, very quickly. Not to mention new member meetings before initiation.
No. Not everyone is actually friends.
Every sister through recruitment will give you their story about how every single one of them gets along and are all best friends. Yes, Brittany, I'm sure you have no issues with a single girl in a 300-plus person sorority. It's a lie. Sororities are cliquey. Girls attach to people they already knew or create new groups as time goes on, those girls decide who they do and don't like and there begins the beef. I can't single people out. I did it too, plenty of times. That's just how it works.
Theres strict rules
Panhellenic and chapters alone will always have strict rules it requires its members to follow. Sometime's it's as simple as "You would never tell a rushee that everyone will be fined if the lists of girls who we are inviting back for the next round for rush are late to Panhel."(Inside tea.) But... other-times it's regulating what you can and can't post or say on social media-down to what frats and parties you can and cannot attend.
In the end, a sorority is what you make of it. No one has the same experience. Some girls will never have a single issue or complaint, and others will debate why they joined and if they should leave every day. Additionally, I never had any of these issues minus a select few until I made the hard decision to resign. Remember how things change over time.
Big & Little reveal - Photo by Victoria Whelpley
