After Meeting With My Academic Adviser, I Feel Like Even More Of A Failure
Let me just tell you, I didn't come out of my advising meeting feeling like I had a hopeful future.
Let me paint the picture for you — I'm sure so many of my fellow peers can see in their heads: my adviser is typing down all the possible classes I could sign up for the fall semester, while I sit to the left of him to look at the screen. He starts telling me that everything is up in the air in terms of completing my degree. As I held my tears back, I wondered why am I such a failure?
Every college student has been in the scenario, so I am far from the norm. We all have sat down with an adviser just to listen them inform us that everything we have been doing wrong for the whole semester. Advisers speak in that unsure tone when you discuss with them which classes they could possibly take — it's gut-wrenching. You just want to bawl your eyes out because you have been under a high level of stress for trying to be the "best student" you can possibly be. The situation frustrates you to the point that you want to scream at your adviser. All you want is for someone to give you hope for the future, not another person who will tear you down and strip you of the last pieces of dignity that you have.
In my case, hearing the words, "It might take you three more years to graduate," was a bullet straight to my heart.
So many questions ran through my mind. Am I even smart enough to continue pursuing a degree? If I do, will I be successful after I graduate?
Of course, there was so much more to the meeting. But, hearing someone tell you that you will not graduate on time is the epitome of feeling like a failure. I know I will no longer be conforming to the "four-year model" of a regular college student. Aside from feeling as if I've failed myself, the situation has also caused me to distance myself from my parents because I worry that I will let the unfortunate new slip out — I'm sure they will come across this article.
With all of this in mind, it has been very hard to not want to just drop everything and stay in bed all day. Nothing would be more comforting than to just lay in bed all day and forget about the stresses of college. Luckily, meeting with another adviser — someone who knew what she was talking about — helped me set a solid plan in motion, giving me some hope that I will graduate within a reasonable time frame.
Fingers crossed!
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