Congrats! You've snagged a significant other and been together long enough that they expect you to eat stupidly large amounts of food in front of their entire family. Nice! A lot of people find Thanksgiving to be the most overwhelming day of the holiday season, myself included. Make no mistake, spending it with a large group of people you don't know at all is really freaking daunting. Here are five steps to ensure your nerves don't send you running to throw up in their bathroom.
1. Chill the eff out.
Last year was my first Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family, and I spent the entire car ride focusing on not vomiting all over my meeting-the-fam dress. So, just breathe. Meditate, if you can. Visualizing the worst isn't going to do you any favors, so focus on staying calm. If all else fails, just channel your inner pageant queen and...
2. Smile.
Smile until you feel like your face is going to fall off. If your S.O.'s family can smell fear (and they can. They ALWAYS can.), hit 'em with your elementary-school-yearbook-picture-face and a "thank you so much for having me!" Adults eat that shit up, dude. Chances are, that's all you'll have to say to anyone anyway.
3. Prepare for the inevitable awkward moments.
If you're lucky, you'll make it through the whole day on nothing but that beautiful smile of yours. However, there's a solid 50% chance someone is going to make a weird comment about your appearance or ask a tactless question about school, work, politics, whatever. Usually, that person doesn't mean to make you uncomfortable, so continue to treat them like they haven't said anything that makes you want to turn into gravy and slide through the floorboards directly into hell. Know thyself. Prepare for questions and comments you've gotten before. Or better yet, ask your S.O. what to expect from who. Speaking of your S.O...
4. Communicate your needs beforehand.
I cannot! Stress! This! Enough! If your S.O. doesn't know that you need help with something, they probably won't ask! This can be anything from letting them know about a severe peanut allergy to reminding them of your debilitating social anxiety, and that maybe you need to take a break after an hour or so. Chances are, they'll speak up on your behalf if something you have a hard time with comes up. There is zero shame in asking for help!
5. Try to enjoy yourself.
I am lucky. My boyfriend's family members are the nicest people in the world, and my first Thanksgiving with them went perfectly fine. But, I remember being so nervous that I forgot to have fun. If everyone else is relaxed, you are allowed to be relaxed! Eat whatever you feel comfortable eating, let yourself laugh, and take a fake bathroom break if that's what you need. Besides, just silently smiling like a crazy person all the way through dinner is not going to win over anyone's judgy aunt.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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