For years not, I've been known for being careful at keeping surprises as surprises. I'm the stereotypical person who tells you exactly what your gift is as soon as it's bought, or soon after. What people around me don't seem to realize, though, is that there is a method and a reason to my apparent madness.

As a person with anxiety, I struggle with surprises. The concept of surprises creeps me out, and I feel a need to know what's going on so I can properly manage my expectations. If I know what's going on and am able to set proper expectations, I'm able to enjoy he moment a bit more, or to at least put myself in a position where I can enjoy it more.

I mean, I was the person who figured out the locale and date of my surprise birthday party when I was thirteen by asking my friends questions until one of them slipped up and said something. Most people consider that either crazy or really annoying.

But I have my reasons.

When it comes to gifts, I like to know what people have gotten for me. For holidays like Christmas, I like to know because I want to make sure that I get the other person a gift that the person deserves and that lives up to what they got me. I hate to feel like I'm giving someone the short end of the stick, especially when they've done something good for me.

Because of how I've learned to handle surprises, I tend to lend this sort of ideology regarding surprises and anything around them. It's crazy, I know, but I want everyone to be as comfortable as I would want to feel in a similar position. After all, my parents always taught me to treat others the way you would want to be treated.

So I don't go around spoiling surprises because it brings me joy or anything. I'm doing it because it makes me feel better, and I know other people like my mom who would react better to knowing what's going on than being in the dark. If I can avoid potentially triggering someone, I'm going to, just like I hope someone would try to avoid triggering me.

But this isn't all to say that you need to tell me everything. If you want to surprise me, go ahead and try it. I'm not going to stop you or demand to know what every gift you ever get me is. I'm not that kind of person. I might just not react the way you wanted me to or expected from me at first, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't love whatever it is that you have up your sleeve for me. I love my friends and family so much, and I love nothing more than feeling loved by them.