If you haven't worked in retail, count your blessings. This summer will mark my third official retail job, and let's just say I am less than excited to return to the dreaded retail employee lifestyle. There are so many cons that we have to put up with on the daily, is it even worth the minimum wage salary?
1. Waking up every weekday morning before your shift and contemplating whether the money is worth it
"Is dragging myself out of bed worth my cheque of $500 before taxes?"
3. Having to fake a smile for the entirety of your shift.
And if that isn't bad enough, having your amazing customers remind you to "smile" while you're internally just trying not to lose your shit.
4. Being stuck with the lazy coworkers on your shift
I don't have time to do my job and also teach you how to do yours. Next.
5. And the worst one of all, dealing with the most absurd questions from your customers
No, I won't give you something for free because you have been shopping here for years. I can give you a store credit card, though.
6. Even worse? Having to listen to the weirdest stories from your customers
I once had a customer narrate her entire infidelity and divorce story to me, and I awkwardly had to sympathize while just trying to print her papers. At one point she reached over the register and tried hugging me. Not a fun time.
7. Being yelled at during rush times when you're trying your best
Yes, lady, I understand the line is long. But you're going to have to wait on it just like everyone else. I'm not going to roll out a special expedited red carpet for you.
8. Explaining something to a customer and receiving the "Can I talk to your manager?" bit every time
Everything I am telling you was taught to me by my, surprise, manager! But I guess the arguing is worth it when we laugh about the whole thing in the break room later.
9. Constantly having to clean up mysterious messes
Maybe it's because my parents raised me better, but whenever I go shopping I try to refrain from making a mess. Customers I have encountered, however, seem to enjoy messing up everything they come in contact with.
10. I'm sorry that your coupon is expired
I really am. But I guarantee you, no matter how many times I scan your coupon, it will not work.
11. Customers assuming that you know every damn thing
I once had a customer ask me if I knew who the CEO of my employer was, and when I said no, he told me I needed to do "my research." Yes, thank you, I'll be researching all right — on how to get the heck out of this place.
12. Not being informed of how much math goes into the job
All the math I have learned, all the way up to Calculus 2, magically disappears from my mind when I'm at the register and need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. Suddenly I don't know how many nickels go in to a dollar.
13. When customers try getting in despite the very large "CLOSED" sign and locked doors
I promise you, no matter how many times you yank at the door and yell at me to open it, I'm not. It's kind of entertaining watching you go at it, though.
P.S. We are required to log off all cash registers immediately after the set closing time, so there is no point of even trying to get in. You can't buy anything.
14. Having to stay over your designated shift
Once I was forced to do a 12-hour shift without being informed of prior because one of my coworkers decided to call out "sick." She also ended up getting fired the following week, but I'mma sip my tea.
15. Talking crap about your workplace with your favorite coworkers
You'll be surprised as to how quickly people can bond over annoying customers and shitty bathrooms. Having great coworkers honestly makes working a billion times more tolerable.
16. The time we dream about all day and look forward to impatiently: when your shift is finally over
Once I clock out and my uniform is off, I am also mentally clocked the fuck out. Whatever chaos is happening is not my problem. Good luck to those clocking in, though.
If you work in retail, kudos to you, because honestly we're really forced to deal with the worst shit on a daily basis, there is no escape. And if you haven't worked in retail, perhaps this helps you gain insight on our nightmarish lives — so if you're mean to your cashiers, cut it out.