13 Struggles Every Cliche Lazy Girl Will Understand
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Politics and Activism

13 Struggles Every Cliche Lazy Girl Will Understand

"It's not easy to be me."

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13 Struggles Every Cliche Lazy Girl Will Understand
www.nymag.com

To be honest, I just typed up my title for this article and resumed online shopping. It’s okay though, because I’ll probably be too lazy to go get my wallet and spend my own money to buy any of it. Maybe I’ll just screenshot my bag and send it to my mom as a subtle hint. I am your cliché lazy girl, and I’m only a little ashamed of it.

You set alarms to wake yourself up for future alarms.

Personally, I strategically place all my alarms in 12 minute increments. Snooze on the iPhone buys you eight more minutes, then it goes off again. After that, you buy yourself four more precious minutes of slumber before yet another obnoxious alarm.

You’ve also been known to require a wake-up call on a daily basis.

Oh, is that just me?

Your friends know you’re sleeping when you don’t respond to texts.

This is usually followed up by nine unanswered texts, three missed calls, and two angry voicemails. Sometimes, this has been known to go on for 14 hours.

People don’t question it when you go MIA anymore.

“Oh my god, where have you been all week?!” “Binge watching "New Girl" on Netflix with my dogs.”

Morning people are the worst.

It actually baffles me that people can be functional humans before noon, even without coffee!

Deadlines are your worst nightmare.

Some things are better done when you do them at your own pace. Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t always agree.

“Did you do the ____?” “Uhhh no not yet.”

This should really go without asking. If we’re friends enough to be sending homework assignments back and forth, you should probably know that I save them until the very last minute.

Procrastination is second nature.

"Better late than never" has become your motto. As long as it's getting done, it's okay right? Right. Even when it comes to this research paper due last week.

You’ve forcibly learned to do well under pressure.

It’s just something that happens when you realize that you have two tests, a practical, and a quiz all in one week, and it’s already Wednesday. Somehow, you manage not to fail out of school, so good for you.

You’ve mastered the art of bullshitting.

It’s happened before when I’ve missed so many classes I wasn’t even sure when the final was. Luckily, I happened to stumble into class almost on time, sit down for the test, and walk out with an A. I didn’t hand in the homework due that day, but hey — you win some, you lose some.

Shopping is best done in the comfort of your own bed.

You were going to be too lazy to try that shirt on in the store anyway, might as well have it delivered right to your door instead of leaving your house.

Your bedroom floor and your closet look oddly similar.

Both consist of things you once thought about wearing, but tossed aside for a nice cozy pair of sweatpants.

Doing your hair and makeup is rare.

I don’t not care about my appearance, I mean I got out of sweats this morning and put leggings on so clearly I’m not that much of a bum! It’s just so much effort for no reason, we all know right when I get back to my room I’m crawling right back to bed! Plus, if I look ugly now, I’ll look extra good when we go out this weekend!

I'd write more but it's time for me to go to bed.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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