The Struggle Is Real: Over-The-Knee Boots Edition | The Odyssey Online
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The Struggle Is Real: Over-The-Knee Boots Edition

Honestly, how the f*ck do you even get these shoes on?

Jaryn Stewart
Oct 17, 2017
New York University
441
The Struggle Is Real: Over-The-Knee Boots Edition
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1. You see the perfect boot. You must have this boot. Nothing will stop you from having this boot.


2. You read the description of the boot.You’re playing with fire—the shaft height is a little too tall for your 4’11 and three-quarters frame (the three quarters are important), and it’s a pull on boot without a zipper. How will the boot ever fit over your muscular calves and your thick thighs? UGH FUCK IT YOU KNOW YOU’RE BUYING THEM ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE A COUPON.

3. Clickety-click-click the boot has been bought.


4. Two weeks pass. Honestly, you forgot you even bought the boots because they are taking so goddamn long to ship. WHAT AM I KIDDING YOU HAVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS. THE BOOTS ARE ALMOST HERE.

5. The boots arrive. You are ready. You are more excited about these boots than the time your first boyfriend said he loved you. Oh wait, he never said that because he’s the worst. BUT THESE BOOTS ARE THE BEST.

6. You unpack the boots as though you heard that Christmas is coming twice this year.

7. You look at the boots. You flirt with the boots. You make sweet love to—oh wait. Your cats are watching. You’ll continue this love affair when you have more privacy.

8.You try on the boots. You pray that they fit. You got curvy legs, and you’ve only seen skinny ladies rocking the over-the-knee boot. You take a deep breath. You put your foot in…

9. And your foot fits! You are the modern-day Cinderella. Now on to the hardest part—getting the boots up the rest of your leg. You start pulling the boot up your calf and…

10. FUCK IT’S STUCK IT’S NEVER GETTING UP (this is you having a mini panic attack that the shoes will never fit).

11. After you lay down on the floor for a bit, questioning your very existence, you ask your mom to help you pull the boot up your calf.

You sit down and cry as she slaves away on the boot. She keeps yelling, "WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS I HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO" as your cats look on. Even they are worried, and they are hardcore bitches.

12. Moms are miracle workers. The boot is up the calf. But it isn’t over. The boot still has to get over your knee…

13. You throw plates at the wall. You set fire to your soul. You’re almost ready to give up, but your calf and foot look so damn sexy in the boot—you must have the boot.

You put your game face back on, sit down, and lock eyes with your knee and your boot, demanding them to work together.

14. You lay down flat on your bed and yank the boot up like your life depends on it. It inches slowly up your thigh as you take copious breaks. After three hours and forty-two minutes, the boot…

15. Is on your leg! You’ve made it! It’ll probably cut off your circulation, but you’ll look so goddamn good while this happens. You’re almost ready to go clubbing and show off your new boots when…

16. You realize that you have to put the other boot on. Honestly, you might as well end it all right here, right now.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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