I Won’t Let You Get to Me Anymore, Due Dates

I Won’t Let You Get to Me Anymore, Due Dates

I've run the numbers, I've faced facts over the past few months; it is time for a change.


I am anxious about this.

I mean, it is not as though this is some monumental revelation. I am always anxious, waiting on the next box on my to-do list to appear, unchecked and wreaking havoc on my brain as I attempt to sleep, eat a meal, relax, do my other work.

I am always anxious when faced with these things.

Maybe it is a crucial application for a position I very much want to earn. Maybe it is a request for a letter of recommendation I can't seem to work my way out of nerves to send. Maybe it is a deadline for course registration that I've been attempting to tune for months. Maybe it's any sitting across from me, pasted on this flickering computer screen and fidgeting nervously back in my direction every time I attempt to progress. Maybe it's all of these. Deadlines and due dates weave their way in and out of my brain, hiding behind swells of personal emotional struggles, in the shadows of even larger projects to which I must attend, amongst the whispered thoughts of relational matters that require my immediate attention. Past me always seem to have an excuse to burden future me with the workload. Future me bites down stress as I stare into the void of my flickering computer screen, fending off the urge to scream with one hand and typing generally empty thoughts with the other.

Why is it always the things most important to me that cause me to halt the fastest? Why is it that the assignments that I am the most desperate to complete make my blood run the coldest? Why am I stopped in my place by electronic obstacles, agonizing for so long over how to complete them perfectly that stress shuts down my brain for another day and says "Try again tomorrow"? Deadlines and due dates always seem to get the best of me.

But I don't want that anymore.

I have faced a swarm of personal, social, academic, you-name-it trials which have sent my past semester sprinting off and left me behind. I have hit my breaking point. I have buried myself in pillows and browser windows, let procrastination seep into my veins, forgotten what "carpe diem" means as I watch my time turn into yet another yesterday.

I am anxious, yes. I want it to be for a different reason than because I let myself slip on something important. I want this to be the time when I set aside the struggles that were bringing me down in exchange for a change of pace.

The desire to put off work has unfortunately always enticed. It teaches the lesson of discipline and mocks the nap-taking me into genuine thought for my future. But I have come to realize that this has gotten to the point where these things have begun to make me afraid. I fear I can't do them well, so why do them? Or I know I have no faith in myself, so why try? I forced myself to face the fact that I have begun to put off things because the pattern of my own stress-induced ignorance is making me doubt my work.

I might be rather dumb, objectively speaking. I might not be as capable as someone else. I might not get the position I was going for. I might not pass the test. I might not have the time. I might not be who I want to be. But I cannot know unless I try. I do not want to allow these deadlines to keep me doubting myself and sending me spiraling into a mindset of self-deprecation. I might not be the best. I know I won't ever be perfect. But no one can ever convince me I'm not enough. I might get a hit and I might miss. I might get hit. I don't know what's coming. But I know that these insignificant little electronic obstacles cannot stop me from trying my hardest and getting on the right track.

I won't let these due dates stop me. They might be daunting (not a might, they will definitely be daunting), but the least I can do is give my all.

No more pity. No more excuses. I'm writing this to hold myself to it. I might be scared of the timeline, of feeling like I am unprepared. But I can and will see things through to the end.

Popular Right Now

I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

'Taste The Rainbow' But Not Because Skittles Said To

The health benefits of eating a wide range of fruits and vegetables


Does everyone know that fruits and vegetables are good for you, but do you know why they are considered to be nutritious?

Some may believe the answer is because they have low caloric value, which isn't wrong but they provide so much more. They possess phytochemicals.

Phytochemicals are naturally occurring compounds found in plant foods that provide the fruit and vegetables their color, taste, and odor. More than that, each phytochemical comes with its health benefits.

There are seven mechanisms of action or ways that phytochemicals are beneficial to our health.

They can either act as antioxidants which help to prevent damage to healthy cells, anti-inflammatory, chemo-preventative, support our immune system, trigger apoptosis or programmed cell death, protect our DNA, regulate hormones and finally, some may have the ability for specific actions, such as inhibiting the growth of bad bacteria.

Below is a list of phytochemicals:

1. Carotene 

Alpha and beta carotene give fruits and vegetables an orange or yellow color. Some examples of foods that are high in beta carotene are sweet potatoes, carrots, and bell peppers of those colors.

Carotene, when ingested, is converted into Vitamin A that your body can easily absorb and utilize. Carotene has been scientifically proven to help eye and heart health as well as support our immune system by acting as an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and possessing chemo-preventive factors.

2. Lycopene 

Think tomatoes. The phytochemical lycopene is responsible for the red color in whole plant foods. The health effects are acting as antioxidants, anti-inflammatory, chemo-preventative but also good for DNA and urinary tract health. What's cool about lycopene is that no matter how you prepare your food, you don't lose any of the nutrients.

3. Chlorophyll 

Eat your greens. Chlorophyll-rich foods appear green. Some excellent sources include dark leafy greens and broccoli. Chlorophyll, like the other phytochemicals are known to be antioxidants, anti-inflammatory and chemo-preventative. Choosing foods that have a rich and vibrant color indicate that is a good source of that phytochemical.

So, next time you're in the produce aisle, be sure to choose your colors wisely.

4. Anthocyanin

Anthocyanins are those foods that are red, blue and purple. Any type of berry is an excellent source of antioxidants. Antioxidants combat damage to cells by helping balance those that are unstable. Cells become unsteady when they have an uneven pairing of protons and electrons so antioxidants essentially give an electron to the cells that need it.

5. Reservatrol

The color purple. Just as every phytochemical mentioned, resveratrol contains antioxidants, anti-inflammatory and chemo-preventative agents. That's the beauty of phytochemicals. Reservartrol also takes it a step further to help brain and bone health. Studies have proven that eating foods rich in resevatrol also help to protect against age-related diseases.

If you want to learn more about the health benefits of phytochemicals, please check out this wonderful book!

Related Content

Facebook Comments