I wore makeup for the first time in eighth grade. My friends had already started wearing it, but I was afraid of what my mom would think. My besties Gabi and Rachel helped me out by putting it on me on the bus in the morning - blue eyeshadow, pink lip gloss, and all. I was LIVING. I felt confident, older, and more importantly, like I fit in. After school, I would run to the bathroom and wash it off before my mom could see me.

I never put much thought into why I felt pressure to wear makeup at such a young age, or why I often still feel that way. But last year in my first year seminar class, we watched a documentary called Miss Representation (It’s on Netflix, I highly recommend). It explained how the awful representation of women in the media affects the way we treat women, act as women, and raise our girls. Since women are taught that physical appearance is the most important aspect of our existence, we often go to destructive lengths to achieve peak physical appearance. This forced me to realize that I am no exception to this. I, too, place too much importance on my physical appearance. I say “ugh, I look gross” if I look in the mirror and am not wearing makeup. So I decided to challenge myself - how long could I last completely au naturel?

I had two goals for this little project: 1. appreciate the way I looked naturally, and 2. reflect on things I love about myself that have nothing to do with physical appearance.

The first week of my experiment was the last week of spring break, so I was still at home. This made it pretty easy, since I was usually just at home or around my family. Emotionally, I hardly felt a difference. Physically, it felt wonderful to have a clean feeling face all the time.

On the second or third day I excitedly told my family about the project. They were supportive and didn’t act as though this was a huge deal (or that they really cared very much at all, honestly). However, after a few minutes, they said “I’m sure you’ll want to wear it again in the future for like, professional things.” I know that they meant nothing negative by this statement, but their comment reflects EXACTLY what society expects of a woman’s appearance! Wearing makeup (especially if it’s “done well”) makes a woman appear put together and polished. But my question is - why? Why do we need to alter the natural state of our face in order to be taken more seriously?

Once I got back to school, not wearing makeup proved to be much more difficult. I didn’t care too much about going to class without it on, but any time that I went somewhere else, (out with my friends, off campus, to a concert), I would feel super uncomfortable. My outfit felt incomplete. I felt okay about how I looked, but knew that I could look “better”.

After about three weeks, I caved. I had hoped to end this project feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and happier about myself. Instead, it created a lose-lose situation of feeling like crap without it on, and feeling even more like crap once I gave up and started wearing it again.

Amongst my angst and sadness, however, I took some time to reflect. I had been extra observant of the way people talked to and about women during these weeks, and I noticed that women comment on each other’s appearances ALL THE TIME. This is viewed as a polite thing to do in our society. I mean, who doesn’t love compliments? Although it’s nice in the moment, I believe it can be destructive in the long run. If women are only ever receiving compliments about their appearance, it subliminally reinforces the fact that it’s the most important thing about us.

Unfortunately, constantly complimenting women’s appearances begins much earlier than we might expect. We literally do this to toddlers. We tell them things like, “you look so pretty today!” and “ I like your dress!” as a default way to make conversation. I get it, making conversation can be difficult, which is why we revert to comments like these. This is where I challenge you to be cognizant of your language. Instead of saying “I love your dress” to a young girl, try, “The colors on your dress are nice, which is your favorite?” This takes the focus off of the appearance of the dress and puts it onto her personal thoughts and opinions.

I want to make it clear that I have no problem with makeup. I believe it can be used as a tool to empower women, and I know that they often wear it for themselves and not for others. However, I think it’s important to acknowledge that its main reason for existing in the modern world is gendered socialization. Women can actively combat this simply by being confident in their own skin and acknowledging the strengths of themselves and their girlfriends that have nothing to do with how they look.