Stop Telling People When And How To Have Sex
Sexual Health

Stop Telling People When And How To Have Sex

Waiting till marriage doesn't work for everything. Plus, let's be real, no human being wants to wait that long.


Recently, I've seen a plethora of articles being shared on the Odyssey which plead with people to wait till marriage for sex. They, of course, cite the Bible as being the reason for waiting since premarital sex is an (outdated) sin. The articles sometimes take on a shaming tone, the writer seeing themselves as superior to others since they're planning on waiting until they're married to become a freak in the sheets.

Since when, in this day and age, has sex become a taboo subject again? Since when do we shame others for having sex? If it were the medieval era I would understand, but we're living in the modern age of course and our ideas about sex and relationship had advanced quite a bit.

Here is the tea, folks: don't shame people for having sex.

Sex is a part of human nature: it's literally one of our basic necessities for survival. I mean, without sex, the human race would cease to exist! We need people to have as much sex as possible to make sure we don't die out in the near future.

This idea of "waiting till marriage" was manufactured by men who sought to suppress women's sexuality and remove their autonomy.

It's a way of thinking that's still stuck in the medieval era which ranked women by their sexual nature, putting virgins at the top and mothers and wives at the bottom.

I mean, let's be real here: I don't think a 20-something is really that keen on waiting till marriage. Take me for example: I'm ready for sex, but, I want to lose my virginity to someone I love and trust. However, I'm not going to shame someone who had sex with complete strangers or their FWBs. The way you express your sexuality is your own and no one can take that away from you.

I guess what's bothering me isn't the idea of waiting until marriage but how people seem to see it as the only plausible way to have sex. It's so tiresome to be told how and when to express my sexuality when I literally have ownership over my body. As a gay man, it's especially troubling. In the past, there were laws which criminalized gay sex and literally got gay men killed. I want to be free in how I express myself sexually, I'm not going to allow some stranger tell me I can't do the deed.

Policing someone's sexuality is, frankly, a bit childish. It's not helpful and it's not cute. Sex is your own business and your partner's business.

So, have sex however you'd like: get kinky, try some things out, communicate how you feel to your partner. Also, please practice safe sex at all times and remember that consent is absolutely mandatory. Also, please understand that I'm not shaming people who do choose to wait. I'm not bashing them for waiting until marriage to have sex. I'm simply responding to those who think it's okay to tell others how to express their sexuality.

Own your sexuality, let it empower you, and don't let a soul tell you how to express it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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