Being comfortable in our own skin is a feeling that many women don’t experience. Body shaming is everywhere. Whether it’s being too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too pale or too dark, not being good enough is an idea that has been branded onto our brain from before we can remember. Our image is the very first thing people see before we can even get to the first impression. And quite frankly, if someone has prematurely formed opinions of us before we are even able to speak to them, we could be fighting an uphill battle.

Although, the “politically correct” fads spreading through society are working hard to break down every stereotype that was ever created, people can’t be forced to dismantle their predisposed dispositions at the drop of a hat. It has repeatedly been publicized to us that being beautiful means we have to wear a size smaller than a six and have a thigh gap. Don’t slouch and push your chest out when you walk. Wear clothes that will catch an eye and make hearts skip a beat when we walk by.

PSA: Women aren’t manufactured like that. There’s no step-by-step guide that tells us how to “become beautiful in 10 simple steps.” While society is showing us that we’re good enough, we’re pulling on our fitted shirts and fixing our hair. Putting a little extra make-up on to hide whatever is underneath. Starring at the ground as we walk instead of holding our heads up high with confidence.

But why? Maybe we feel like we’re too skinny because we’ve tried too hard to lose the weight we once carried around. Or we feel too heavy with the weight we do carry. We avoid going shopping because we never find anything that we feel is flattering or maybe the make-up section doesn’t even supply the shade of foundation that matches our skin.

We hold ourselves to a higher standard every time someone tells us to eat some more because we look a little unhealthy. But we repeatedly let ourselves down every time we look in the mirror and realize that nothing has changed.

Have no fear because they will eventually try to build us up by letting us know that we don’t need to be pretty because we’re smart enough to get by without our looks. Or, on the contrary, if we do pass the test we don’t need brains and are obviously incompetent but no cares because anybody can get by with just being pretty. That is until we decide to chase our dreams once we work up the confidence and then no one takes us seriously.

Shame on us. We should’ve known better than to listen to what everyone was telling us, but now we can’t stop. So we sit and replay their shames and beat ourselves up for not being good enough. No, we’re not comfortable in our own skin, but if that’s what they want then we’ll just fake it until we make it because isn’t that the same thing?

We’re not beautiful like them. We just pretend to be.