There is so much pressure to find “the one” these days that the topic comes up at LEAST once a day in my life. There are dating articles all over every social media site, whether it’s an article on my Facebook feed or on the discover page on Snapchat.
The topic comes up in conversation all the time with friends too, intentional or not. I’m at this weird point in life where some of my friends are already married or talking about marriage, some are in that honeymoon stage with their boyfriends and the others are still single.
For those of my friends who are already married/engaged/about to be engaged, more power to you. That’s awesome that you’ve found your person and are moving onto a bigger and exciting stage in life.
As someone who is just about to turn 21, there is this overarching expectation that I should have a boyfriend by now. I’m not sure why, but everyone thinks they NEED to be married by 25 and have kids by 30 or something ridiculous like that.
When you think about it, this expectation literally makes no sense.
What is the point in rushing to find someone, get married and have kids? Because everyone else expects you to? Because if you don’t, then you’re a loser who is probably going to be single for the rest of your life and live alone with 16 cats?
Everyone is different and there is no reason to try and live up to these unrealistic expectations or compare your relationship status to someone else’s. If you’re not in a position in your life to have a significant other, then don’t.
Your relationship status doesn’t define you.
It’s hard not to think about this all the time when you can’t escape it. You either have your mom constantly asking you while you’re away at college or your family constantly asking you when you’re home at family parties. I get that my family wants to stay updated and know what’s going on in my life, but like… relax.
No matter what the occasion is, it’s pretty much inevitable that at least one family member will ask me about my relationship status.
“So do you have a boyfriend yet?”
“Are you at least talking to anyone?”
I’ll tell you why not, Aunt Karen. Because most college boys are still as immature as they were in high school. They’re scummy and they still think that hooking up with 10 girls is better than having a steady girlfriend. They get wasted and put their lives at risk just to show off for social media.
Yes, in today’s society boys risk their lives by jumping off of a roof to smash into a table for Snapchat because they think it’s funny. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here are a few examples. This is literally natural selection at its finest.
With that being said, I am not going to waste my time on boys that are clearly lacking maturity and several brain cells.
Obviously there are guys out there who are (mostly) mature and understand what respect is. I know they exist.
However, as a junior in college, school and life in general are hitting me like a train. How can I handle maintaining a relationship when I can’t even maintain my mental health?
Finding a boyfriend is nowhere near the top of my to-do list, and I refuse to move it up there just because other people expect me to have one. I'm content with focusing on school and myself for now.
It’s perfectly okay to be in your 20’s and single. It doesn’t mean you’re falling behind in life and it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily unhappy either.
When it’s meant to happen, it will happen.
But until then, just keep doing you.