Admit it- you either know of that girl or boy who has been called “too nice” or you are that person. From the perspective of being that person, here it is.

For a while, especially when you’re younger, it comes off as a compliment. The word “nice” resonates positive vibes and it seems all well and good. But as you grow and learn, it can become a bit of an insult.

Being the nice girl/guy gets old. Once it becomes known by friends, it almost allows them to take advantage of you. Yes—I said friends.

In times of weakness and in times of need, friends often lean on the nice guy/girl. Yes, it’s great to know that you’re a good confidant. It makes you feel warm inside and it makes you feel special but at the same time… it gets old. It’s almost like you become a doormat.

What I mean by this is that when you let others in, it’s possible that they will take advantage of your kindness—but only you can stop this from happening.

My mom has always told me that we teach people how to treat us, and I find this to be extremely true. If we allow people to walk all over us and take advantage of the kindness and compassion that we so naturally give, it eventually takes a toll on our well-being.

That being said, it’s important to recognize what we can control as giving human beings.

How we behave.

Who we spend our time with.

Our attitudes.

How often we say “yes.”

Who we let in.

These are just a few, but regardless, it’s incredibly important to stand your ground when you’re seen as or feel that you’re the “too nice” friend. Don’t be afraid to speak up and have your own back, because at the end of the day, you will cringe at the way people undermine your kind soul and you will regret the silence.

So, sit back, continue to radiate kindness, but do so selfishly—leaving room for your own self-worth and wellness.

P.S. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes, I promise.