I have a bad habit which I must admit.
I overthink, a lot. It has reached the point where I even question all the little things that come in my life whether it be good or bad.

Someone could have sent me a text just saying ok responding to what I had said earlier and I could be panicking because I would think that I might have said something wrong. I would be afraid thinking that the person was offended by me and did not want to continue the conversation.

I stay in my room on a Saturday night cursing myself for being alone when actually I have pushed away all the good opportunities that were given towards me.

I've been hurt so many times that I feel like every blessing I receive is actually some sort of pain or anxiety in disguise and that one day, these so-called "blessings" would leave me once more.

However, I soon realized that the more I try to doubt myself, the more pain and suffering I actually cause myself. Sometimes, overthinking does push away even the people closest to you because they believe that they always have to be cautious around you that it becomes so tiring. So, they leave.

I decided to try something new, in which every night before I go to bed, I make a mental list of things that I am grateful for today. Those tiny actions that form a smile on my face: a random stranger holding the door for me, going on walks by myself instead of being cooped up in my room, etc. Me reminding on myself the things that I have done gives me a sense of belonging and fires up my will to keep going on. I start to appreciate all the things that I get to have, whether it be big or small. All the blessings and blessings in disguise, I'm trying to stop doubting them for a change and start telling myself how I am worth it. How I actually deserve these blessings.

Because I am worth it and I do deserve it.

And every single one of you is worth it too.