Best and Worst Star Wars Movies
Start writing a post
Entertainment

The Force Is Strong With This Formula My Dad Created To Rank The 'Star Wars' Movies

Can you guess where "The Last Jedi" landed?

207
https://www.flickr.com/photos/tango1/14754533389/in/photolist-otNQJH-7ihHHW-d5KJEd-HSi6SP-9WJXqb-9byzXJ-peRT5e-kxgMGr-dN2TMQ-9Fd991-eRgJqt-RXTT31-2iDyUn-7YWpkh-qdX7n3-d5KHJL-TpCwVx-d5KJvJ-D9kDRB-e8hD49-d5KHEU-2a4sRhw-d5KHMu-dMWoxc-2iDyUx-X1Fzb3-sb8p7r-s996JE-d5KJaG-U4znYH-d5KJ7A-24jJsYE-6oDVj2-pj6wH6-rmqDb9-7R8MEy-33XmLZ-s1QKVQ-5miPLg-YiLZD2-JdCsNx-L4bLmo-qvvA78-AwwzmK-s1Ywqi-boHBDt-CoutV8-26KU1N2-dQyYy3-URyzSi
barwickdp

My dad has been a Star Wars fan since childhood when he first saw "A New Hope" in 1977. Since then, he's created the tradition to see each movie in theaters three times. He raised my siblings and me right and we are all Star Wars fans now.

Since the release of "The Last Jedi," my dad is frustrated with some of the Star Wars fan base and how critical they are about different aspects of the new movies. But history repeats itself—people were overly critical about the prequels upon their first release as well. The fact is, there are aspects of each movie that are epic and other aspects that are cringeworthy.

That's how my dad got the idea for a formula to rank every Star Wars movie. As a big fan, he believes each movie is good, just that some are better than others. He also believes that the cringe factor is what hurts the movies the most. The cringe-worthy scenes detract from the epic scenes. "They ruin the flow of the movie," he says. His formula uses the duration of epic scenes offset by the cringe-y scenes. Plus, he's an accountant, so math is his life.

So here's the formula: Total time of epic scenes - total time of cringe-y scenes = net score. Then: Net score/runtime of the movie = Epic Percentage.

To make these calculations, my dad rewatched every Star Wars movie and used the stopwatch on his phone to time the epic and cringe-worthy scenes (I know, nerd alert—but he's actually a pretty cool guy). He wrote the time of each scene in its respective category down on paper and then added the times in each category together so he could plug them into the formula.

And without further ado, here is what he found...

"Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" — 86.0 - 8.0 = 78.0/140 = 55.7%
"Episode VII: The Force Awakens" — 74.5 - 0.9 = 73.6/136 = 54.1%
"Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back" — 55.0 - 1.6 = 53.4/127 = 42.0%
"Rogue One" — 57.6 - 1.8 = 55.8/134 = 41.6%
"Episode IV: A New Hope" — 52.7 - 2.4 = 50.3/125 = 40.2%
"Solo" — 60.3 - 6.5 = 53.8/135 = 39.9%
"Episode II: Attack of the Clones" — 67.4 - 21.7 = 45.7/142 = 32.2%
"Episode I: The Phantom Menace" — 41.5 - 19.5 = 22.0/136 = 16.2%
"Episode VIII: The Last Jedi" — 43.1 - 25.5 = 17.6/152 = 11.5%
"Episode VI: Return of the Jedi" — 39.5 - 25.3 = 14.2/135 = 10.5%

Do you agree?

If not, that's okay. The nature of this formula demands that personal opinion becomes a factor. Scenes that my dad thinks are epic may not make the cut for you, or scenes he thinks are cringe-y may be just fine for you.

My dad said he thought the original trilogy would rank higher than it did. But he also thinks it's kind of overhyped in its quality. And that rewatching the original movies again as an adult versus for the first time as a kid made him realize they have different qualities of charm than the prequels and more recent sequel movies. He can't get over the fact that Ewoks essentially defeated the Empire in "Return of the Jedi." He knew "The Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones" would be lower on the list, though, due to their high levels of cringe-worthy elements (cough Jar Jar cough).

He was actually surprised that "The Force Awakens" was so high on the list. He said that he enjoyed the movie, just not as much as the others. However, it does have lower cringe levels and a lot of epic elements due to the fact that it is the movie that brought Star Wars back into the present. He was also surprised that "Rogue One" scored higher than "A New Hope," it being only a spinoff movie. But the ending, especially with the Darth Vader scene (yeah, you know the one), brought up its epic times profoundly.

As for "The Last Jedi..." My Dad was not surprised that it scored so low on this list. He was unsettled at the quality of the movie from the very first part in which Luke throws his lightsaber behind him. (I mean, come on! What was that? But this isn't a review of the movie so that's all I'll say on the matter.) But this scene, Leia flying through space and the whole casino side story are just some of the aspects that brought the "The Last Jedi" down to a measly 11.5%. He was also not surprised "Return of the Jedi" was last. The Ewoks really ruined that movie for him. "It's like Leia just decided to live life with the Ewoks. What about her mission?" he said. "I mean, she changed her clothes, changed her hair. As an adult, you look at those things, and you're like, 'this is just really corny.'"

I, of course, had to ask what, in his opinion, was the cringiest scene in all of Star Wars. I assumed it would be some part of the Ewok debacle, but it was actually from "Attack of the Clones." He said that the love scene with Anakin and Padme by the fireplace is the cringiest, and after hearing his argument, I'm inclined to agree. Their love story was forced on the audience throughout that whole movie. It was poorly written, but necessary for the central plot of Anakin aka Darth Vader aka Luke Skywalker's father. It could have been so much better. But instead, we get Padme in that unnecessarily tight corset dress and Anakin saying corny lines like he's, "haunted by the kiss," in some poorly lit room for no reason, deciding that they aren't going to pursue their feelings—and then with no further conversation about the matter, they're making out on Geonosis. Like, they just said no, this is forbidden love, we have to be responsible, and then oh well, whatever. Oof.

The only obvious follow-up was to ask what he thinks is the most epic aspect in all of Star Wars. He decided on Anakin's transformation into Darth Vader. Okay sure, this isn't only one scene, but I do agree that it is pretty epic. Over the course of "Attack of the Clones" and "Revenge of the Sith," we see Anakin take steps towards the dark side. There's the Tusken Raider village and his fight with Count Dooku in Episode II, and of course the defining moments in Episode III. "He says goodbye to Obi-Wan for the last time, and then slowly deteriorated into the dark side," he remembered.

This method and formula could also be used to rank other movies, such as the "Lord of the Rings," "Avengers" or "Jurassic Park" franchises. However, for some movies, the criteria of epic versus cringe may have to change to get a more accurate number. For example, "Lord of the Rings" could potentially be classified using a slow-scenes-versus-action-scenes ratio. Basically, find aspects that you enjoy and pit them against the aspects that detract from your enjoyment. It will take some time and effort to rank the movies with this formula, but it's always fun to revisit old favorites!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53230
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34197
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956788
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181551
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments