That dreaded time of every semester has come, yet again. The fall of 2015 semester is coming to an end, which means lots of final papers, final projects, and the horrible final exams that everyone is excited to get over with. It’s the home stretch, at this point, with finals starting for some schools this week and for others not starting until next week. But before we know it, it’ll all be over and we’ll be desperately waiting for our grades to come out while we’re back home for winter break. But before we’re home for the holidays for at least a month or so, here are the main stages every typical college student goes through during finals week.
Stage 1: Confusion.
Wait, what? Finals week already? Pretty sure we just had syllabus week like a couple of weeks ago. Oh, that was three weeks ago? No way. That can’t be true.
Stage 2: Denial.
No, no, no. This cannot be true. It can’t be time for finals, already. How am I supposed to cram five classes worth of information into my brain in order for me to take an exam?! No, no, no -- this is not happening to me, right now. It’s not the time for finals. Let’s just go to a party tonight or hit up a couple of bars, get drunk, and forget that someone even mentioned to me that there’s even going to be a final exam for any of my classes coming up.
Stage 3: Panic.
What do you mean I have two finals in one day -- back to back?! This stage is full of stress built up to the max, and nothing can calm you down, besides probably alcohol, unfortunately. Panicking about deadlines, lack of time to study, presentations to give, and still trying to fit in the possible last night out before the semester is over and we can’t party nearly as much while we’re home living with our parents. Panicking about exams, then panicking just as much right after the exam is over about getting your grade for the exam. Just an overall anxiety attack, breakdown, panic mode for all college students.
Stage 4: Anger.
When I say anger, I mean that most college students go on, at least, a couple of rants on social media and to their friends in conversations saying horrible things about their professors and the decisions said professors made for their final exams. Why would someone be as cruel as to make a cumulative final!? Essay questions on a final exam?! A 10-page paper due on the same day as the exam? Lots of big F-U’s to our teachers. And then you look at the complicated finals schedule that the school makes for us, and you start screaming at every point you can about how mad you are that you have two exams, back to back, on the same day. How are we supposed to cram in some last minute studying if that’s the case?!
Stage 5: Depression.
Head on over to the nearest marketplace or dining hall. Get yourself a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a whole container of Oreos. At one point during the week, every college student skips the diet they’ve been trying to keep, to pig out and eat their feelings. There’s lots of crying during this stage. You’re able to calm yourself down for a few moments and think of something else, and then finals come back into your mind and you break down, yet again. Every time you try to study and your flashcard pile of wrong answers is much larger than the pile of right answers, you want to throw them all across the room and ball your eyes out.
Stage 6: Acceptance.
It took you a while, but you’ve finally come to terms with the fact that if you even want to try to pass all of your classes this semester, you’re going to have to complete these assignments and take these horrible exams. You head yourself over to the library, where it’s hopefully not too obnoxiously loud and crowded, and attempt to cram an entire semester's worth of learning into your brain before the exam. The only thing getting you through is the thought that after they’re all done, you’ll be home, in your bed, without having to wear flip flops in the shower, with your mom making you home cooked meals on a regular basis. Yes, you can do this. Accept it, and you’ll get through it.
And when it's all done...
