This past weekend, New Jersey was hit with its first Nor'easter of the year, followed closely by a second the following Wednesday. As an uproot from Georgia, I usually associate a few inches and maybe a little bit of ice with “snow storms”. So, when the forecast called for one, I didn’t think much of it.
And then… I stepped outside.
1. How is there water and snow at the same time?
I stepped in what looked to be a snow bank, only to sink completely down into several inches of water. What the hell?
2. I think I’m going to be blown over...
According to the iPhone weather app, wind speeds were at 30 mph, which is higher than I’ve ever experienced in my life. Add in the snow, and I was completely lost and unsure of how to handle myself in this frozen wasteland.
3. I AM BEING STABBED IN THE FACE BY SNOWFLAKES.
That’s certainly what it felt like on my excessively difficult walk to Walgreens! After all, when little bits of ice are being pelted at you, flying through the air at 30 mph, it’s bound to hurt.
4. How is it this miserable and yet not that cold?
This surprised me the most, I think. When I woke up and looked outside, I expected temperatures to be in the 20’s at their highest. Instead, I stepped outside in my puffer coat, boots, and hat… and I was a little warm. I think the temperature was closer to 40 than 20 which, I guess, explains the slush.
5. I’m melting.
When I stepped inside after walking for 20 minutes in the weird weather, I felt like I was actually melting right there into a puddle on the Walgreens linoleum floors. Between being warm while outside, walking to the store, and stepping into heat, all while soaked to the bone by slush and evil snowflakes, I felt like the wicked witch at the end of "The Wizard of Oz".
6. The doors?? Are opening?? By?? Themselves??
When my friend and I grabbed a bite to eat, the doors kept opening on their own. Oh, okay. I didn’t know that our Playa Bowls was freaking haunted. What kind of paranormal activity bullshit is this?
7. I really don’t want to go back outside again.
Ah, but we had to if we were going to make it back to my dorm. So we toughed the weather and made the trek. That is maybe 10 minutes on a slow day but felt like it took an eternity during the storm.
8. This is it, this is what my “bad place” would be like.
I said this out loud. If you don’t know, NBC’s "The Good Place" explores the ideas of heaven and hell, calling them the good place and the bad place respectively. Being as some people are given good things in a twisted form, I felt as though my love for cold weather would be turned on its head like this.
9. My hood won’t stay on my head!
Okay, so this was my friend’s issue, not mine, as I wore a hat. But still. Very annoying, especially since all you want is something to protect your face from the unrelenting icicles in the sky.
10. Okay, I understand why you Yankees hate snow.
Enough said.
