Why is it that to be considered a good wife, or mother, or woman, you need to past the “cooking” test?

Is it not enough that wives and mothers and women work full time, keep a semi-clean home and take care of other things (i.e. husband, babies, and fur children)? I’m wondering when it became so taboo to not cook?

I question myself weekly, am I normal? Is something wrong with me because I don’t enjoy/care about cooking?

My whole life, I was always told, especially from magazines, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. When I got married, to a Puerto Rican none-the-less, I was terrified that I would never make my way into his heart. Why? Because I don't cook. I don't bake, I have no idea how to sauté, and I certainly don't prepare ethnic meals.

Growing up, my mom always taught us how to cook and she's a wonderful cook herself. I just wasn't born with the cooking DNA in me. I have no desire to cook what-so-ever. I have coworkers and friends ask me, "Oh, you don't know how to cook?" and "Why don't you buy a cook book?" or "Why don't you go to a cooking class?” What no one seems to understand is that I literally, get no enjoyment from cooking. It's not that I don't know how, I can cook a delicious meal if need be, I would just much rather spend my potential meal preparation time imbibing on cocktails at a bar.

We are currently living in a progressive society where it's okay to not live the same lives as your parents, grandparents or great-grandparents. In older times, women were expected to be in the kitchen all day, which honestly sounds like a living hell to me.

I go in my kitchen to make coffee, in my Keurig, and I'm out. I will do the occasional dishes (that my dishwasher can't handle) and if I'm feeling particularly Martha Stewart-y, I will even bake those muffins that you only need to add 1/2 cup of milk to and I’m done.

I recently had a coworker as me, “Why don’t you do a crock pot meal?” My response was something about how it’s just my husband and me. Maybe one day when we have a family I will make crock pot meals all day long. Right now, with just two people (and a couple of animals) to feed, there really is no need for a crock pot meal. Plus, did I mention that I only spend about 5-10 minutes in the kitchen? Preparing a crock-pot meal seems easy, but does require ample prep time.

I often times feel left out at potlucks and any food-related extravaganza where you have to bring your “famous dish." I feel like I’m on Chopped on the Food Network and I’m bound to be the one going home in the first round. Since when did get-togethers become a nonchalant cook-off? I wasn’t aware that there was a competition. So what if the cupcakes I brought were from Food Lion? I still put my heart and soul into buying those damn cupcakes! Lesson learned, from now on when I’m invited to potlucks or any festivity involving food, I bring a bottle of champagne and call it a day.