You always hear from others about greek life and why you should go greek while you're away at a university. To make friends, make connects, getting involved on campus & in the community and many more. The recruitment video's that are put together, being able to be apart of an organization that is known, being able to wear greek letters and take cute selfies with your symbol when you're on vacation sounds like the best thing ever. Going to mixers with your sisters and having fun is the stereotype of being in greek. Unfortunately, that is not always true and there are things you do not see as an outsider or as a new member.
During the Fall of 2017 I was new to my university as a transfer student from a community college. The only friend I had was my roommate and a few people I met in class that year. Everywhere I looked all you saw were greek letters; majority of the campus was greek. My friends and I would always make fun of the girls in greek, saying how everyone is fake and its expensive blah blah blah. Spring of 2018 I thought about joining one then backed out, until one of the girls called me asking if I'd accept the bid from them. Yep, thats right.....I joined a sorority that day. All who knew me laughed at the idea of me even joining one or the fact that I was actually a part of one. The new member process wasn't always easy for me since I would have to leave work and travel an hour away just to make it to the meetings. As my new member process went along I thought to myself, "hmmm this isn's that bad. I can totally do this." It seemed great I got things from my Big and my Secret and finally was able to wear the letters they gave me around campus. I was finally a apart of something as a newbie on campus. Unfortunately, all that would change once I got initiated into the chapter.
Once you find out who your big is they usually take you out to eat and you just have a bonding moment. Although my big and I are completely the opposite, I think she's pretty freaking awesome BUT that is not the point. Many bigs and their littles came out to have dinner with my big and I and we all sat around this huge table just talking. My first thought to this was, "wow this is pretty cool we are all bonding. Some of the sisters are actually pretty chill and bonding with their littles and other littles. But then things changed and I felt uncomfortable the moment the conversation started. Many of the older members where calling a new member a "Narc" and talked about how she was always eager to learn things or talked about how fast she learned things. They laughed and said, _______ is a narc. Nationals probably sent her to spy on us." As I said from the beginning I was a transfer student so this girl who they were talking about I transferred with from our community college and knew her personally. She was ALWAYS eager to learn new things and if she had to learn something for a certain time she put 100% of her time towards learning the information. As the dinner went along the conversation continued but eventually died down. This wouldn't be the last time the older members talked about her. This girl was slightly older than all the other girls, due to this age difference an older sister told her not to tell other members what her real age was because then they wouldn't want to be friends or hang out with her. Overtime sisters would become her friend and hang with her after a personal issue occurred.
Over the summer is when I started to see a change in behavior from many of the girls. I would post my views on social media and get attacked for my opinions. I would get told to delete things because OTHER PEOPLE were calling my sisters names and that isn't sisterhood like. Fall of 2018 was the start of being a member for a full semester and dealing with the busy schedule life. Meetings every Sunday night, Badge attire on Tuesday's, sisterhoods Wednesday at 10 for an hour and whatever events were happening during that week or evening tabling all on top of taking 5 classes and driving home to work. It was a lot to handle, especially when you're the one paying your dues and not your parents. This year my roommate decided to go out and eventually got a bid and accepted it. Before she even got initiated, she posted her views and was getting bashed at for her views as well. Just like that my roommate dropped in a heart beat. During that time I would always continued to get bashed by my views and even told a sister who was getting into a "fight"with my friend to just let it go and in response to that was told, " I shouldn't have to be silent." A girl who would eventually got kicked out would be called racist for wearing her jacket that apparently had letters on it. OVER WEARING A JACKET. For my own views I myself would be called racist because I didn't believe in what one sister or multiple sisters. With everything building up....I decided to drop out of the sorority because being bullied by a group of women who always talk about "we should be empowering women" is doing the complete opposite and doing it in the cruelest way possible.
You're told during recruitment and while a member, " We don't haze. We don't bully. That's just not who we are as a chapter and if you feel like you're being bullied come talk to a sister you feel comfortable with." That is what makes it hard to do, talk to a sister you feel comfortable with because they all share your business or judge you. I personally did not feel welcomed and even now I do not feel it as everyone makes it out to be. I thought being in a sorority was going to be the greatest experience I would have while at college, but I was only fooling myself. If you or someone you know is interested in joining greek think about the results you might experience. Some people don't experience the things the two girls, my roommate and myself went through some have it easy depending on who your big is and how much you get involved. Overall I think my experience being in a sorority was by far THEE WORST and honestly I do not recommend joining one. It's not worth the drama, stress and debt.
