I've been given a certain piece of advice for the last few years of my career. This advice centers around the fact that you sometimes just need to say "no." That you also need to set boundaries. This is also something I'm known to be TERRIBLE at and anyone who knows me personally or professionally can attest to it.
This advice is contrary to anything I was told early on in my career (and even to a large extent in my current grad school program). For most of my career, I was told to be a "yes person." Someone that says "yes" to everything in order to open doors, create connections and to create opportunities.
I have done a lot of personal and professional development since my undergrad days (nearly 12 years ago now) and the "always say yes" advice seems to contradict this development work.
Through my years of "yes," I have learned so much and have been given a number of opportunities that have put me in the position to understand myself, my passions and my work more. I love this about my "path" in life and think it has made my career what it is today.
However, I think it's also created somewhat of a monster in me. I now struggle to say "no." It's like it brings along some kind of FOMO (fear of missing out) feeling.
At this current point in time, I am busier than I have ever been. I have so many interests and opportunities that I'd like to pursue. But for the very first time in my life, I understand WHY I have to start saying "no."
This is a big shift for me. People have always told me, but today, for the first time, I get it. I've said "yes" to so many things that I'm interested in, that I'm now starting to miss out or have to do LESS of the things I am truly passionate about. The things that are truly meaningful to me and that I LOVE.
This is why I have to start saying "no."
And, today, I did just that. I started saying "no."
It was SO hard, but I'm to the point that I have other things to lose now. I'm clear on what I want in life (at least at this point in time) and I'm confident I can create new (and even better) opportunities in the future.
So, for 2018, my goal isn't to do more and commit to more, but to do less. To focus more on what I love and on what I'm good at. I think that this will ultimately help me -- both personally and professionally.
It's likely that each time I say "no," I'll feel a strong pull and desire to say "yes." At the very least, I will be mindful of my decision - regardless of the answer I give.
It's advice that deserves to be listened to and now I can see why. In particular, for myself, but also for those around me. This will allow me to be at my very best.
