*Names changed for personal reasons
Per HealthyPlace.com, date rape refers to sexual assault by someone you know. A simple definition of that is basically someone you know, either as an acquaintance or closer, forces you to have sex.
A girl by the name of *Kami was starting to see this guy. It was new and something she never experienced before. She thought things were finally going in the right direction. Things were going great. He seemed like a great guy. He was a great guy. He was sweet and kind. There was something different about him. This guy named *Rob would drive an hour to come see her and sometimes pick her up so they could hang out at his house.
Kami was starting to fall hard for Rob, but Rob liked to drink sometimes. One night, Rob went over to Kami’s house after a rough night and Kami wanted to see him. Kami decided first of all that she didn’t want to have sex with Rob that night because he was drunk. Rob said he was okay with not having sex because their relationship was not all about sex.
A little over an hour later, Rob and Kami were laying down and Rob started to kiss on her and things went south from there. When I mean south, Rob had sex with Kami. As stated above, Kami said from the beginning that they were not going to have sex. Kami felt like something bad had happened to her.
That wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to have sex. Her stomach dropped as she put her clothes back on and he smiled at her. Kami put up the front that all that happened was that she was tired and that nothing else was wrong.
Finally, when Kami talked to a couple of people she confided in, she realized she had been raped. She felt terrible. It was like everything was taken away from her. It was hard because Rob still wanted to see her and spend time with her. Rob kept texting her and she couldn’t find the nerve to tell him why she felt the way she did.
Finally, Kami told Rob that she didn’t consent to them having sex. Rob said she consented by letting him kiss on her and going farther. Kami couldn’t stop Rob in the middle of it because in her mind, she just wanted it to be over. It was painful and it hurt her in more ways than one. Rob continued to argue with her that it was mostly her fault because she didn’t say anything while they were having sex.
What isn’t right is how Kami is the victim in this situation and Kami is getting blamed for something that wasn’t her fault. This is the reason why Kami now has trouble trusting people. She has atrouble believing that people keep their promises. Rob still swears to this day that he did not rape Kami. Kami didn’t stop him so it is okay. Kami knows that it is not okay. Kami thinks about her rape everyday and struggles to move on with her life.
It is not okay that Kami got raped. Nor will it ever be. It is going to haunt her for the rest of her life.
Rape is never okay. No matter if you didn’t consent to sex an hour, two minutes, or five minutes before, no is no. Don’t ever tell a rape victim that it is their fault or just because they didn’t consent in that very moment it is not rape. Rape is sex without consent. Kami was raped.
She will forever be haunted by the guy who she thought was different.
