We have all had that moment when someone throws an insult at you and no comeback is coming to mind.
Then, several hours later, the perfect words you could have said magically appear in your head.
Well with Shakespearean insults, you can know just what to say and berfuddle the person at the same time!
1. “Away, you three-inch fool!”
For that short friend in your life
2. “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!”
For those people that never like to take the blame
3. “His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard.”
For those who aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed
4. “I am sick when I do look on thee”
For those that make the worst jokes at the worst times
5. “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”
For those infuriating friends who always say “fight me”
6. “I scorn you, scurvy companion.”
For those who you wish some karma on
7. “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
For those that annoy you out of your mind
8. “Poisonous bunch-backed toad!”
For that one person who is always spreading rumors
9. “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
For that person that has the worst attitude
10.”Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.”
For the mean friend in your life
11. “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”
For that one person who is never dependable or loyal
12. “Thine face is not worth sunburning.”
For that person that just isn’t worth your time and effort
13. “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
For that really immature person we all know
14. “Thou art a boil, a plague sore”
For that deadweight that’s really dragging you down
15. “He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatic all in making, worse in mind.”
For that unforgiving person In your life
Shakespeare is both unforgiving and hilarious in his insults. When you need a fiery comeback, look no further, for old literature can still be applied to conversation today.
