7 Ways To Deal With A Trump Supporter

7 Ways To Deal With A Trump Supporter

Unofficial guide on how to handle your run-of-the-mill Trump fanatic
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The worst has arrived, America. Donald Trump is the presumptive Presidential nominee for the Republican Party and that means millions of Democrats (and even some level-headed Republicans) will have to learn how to cope with an army of angry, overly-tanned Trump supporters. Luckily, there are a few simple tricks when it comes to dealing with those simple-minded dicks.

1. Avoid at all costs anyone wearing a "Make America Great Again" baseball hat.

The hat wearing crowd are most definitely the type of Trump supporters who would rather work through difficult ideological political questions with their fists rather than with their brains, so avoid the red baseball cap the way Donald Trump avoids women over the age of 26.

2. Do not mention trigger words like "experience" or "decorum."

Trump fans do not believe in actual experienced lawmakers being president, nor do they believe in presidents representing the United States of America in a positive light. They do believe, however, that the all day breakfast at McDonald's is evidence of divine intervention.

3. When speaking with a Trump supporter, stand up as straight as possible (straight as a border wall perhaps).

If you can convince a Trump supporter that you might be a segment of the legendary border wall Overlord Trump will build to protect the Stars and Stripes from the "rapists" coming from Mexico, they may just break out into organized and disturbing chants.

4. If a Trump supporter brings up politics, try to forget everything your grandmother has taught you about manners to level the playing field.

Trump supporters are a feisty bunch. If you find yourself locked in conversation with a Trumpist (trendy nickname for Trump supporters) be sure to disregard all civilized rules of polite society as to not intimidate and scare the Trumpist away before you spit the truth about Trump's hefty fortune.

5. If r when a Trump supporter fangirls over Trump's honesty and business success, politely direct them to this video produced by John Oliver.

Not only will it give you around 21 minutes of peace and quiet to reflect on the lowest lows of the radicalized conservative right, but it may also give the Trump supporter some pause before they buy anymore pro-Trump bumper stickers for their cars.

6. When encountering Trump fans wearing any articles of clothing with Trump's face on it, be sure to apply extra sunscreen to avoid the glare from his clementine tan.

While earlier researchers believed the rays shooting from Trump's tastefully tanned face were only dangerous if seen in the flesh, recently scientists have said that the damage can be projected through tacky T-shirts and other Trump related iconography.

7. When encountering a Trump fan, always be sure to remind them that Trump isn't running for "Worst Hairpiece" or "Expression That Most Adequately Portrays The Evils of American Society."

The man is running for president of the United States. Maybe, if we can spread the word that the Miss America Pageant doesn't actually affect American politics, the Trumpists of the world might remember that they are supporting a reality show joker and con man as a legitimate Presidential candidate.

There is always danger when dealing with a Trump supporter, but hopefully these seven helpful tricks can spare you a few agonizing conversations.

The US is a country founded on free speech which means that even if we do not like listening to the garbage spill out of the mouths of Trump and his minions, we do not have the legal right to actually punch them in the face. Thus, by using these simple tricks you can survive your interactions with Trump supporters this election year.

Cover Image Credit: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/L9P4LDGXOmQ/maxresdefault.jpg

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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That One Time I May Have Shot An Ex-Police Officer

Yeah, you heard me.

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In England, we don't really have guns, maybe hunting guns but I think it's pretty rare. Anyway, point is, barely any guns. I have never seen a gun, shot a gun, I don't even know anybody that owns a gun so as an exchange student in Oklahoma it's a novelty to visit a gun range.

I was pretty nervous about shooting but the instructor was super nice and told us how to hold the gun and load it before we went into the range. He also let us ask any questions we had about guns and explained the process of getting a gun in Oklahoma and he said he had visited Europe and was talking about England, and how he used to be a cop and opened his own gun shop. Basically a really really nice guy, which honestly makes harming him ten times worse.

We went into the range and we were shooting a 22 caliber and another guy at the range, I'm assuming a regular, asked if we wanted to fire his revolver so of course, we said yes.

This gun was definitely heavier and the trigger was super hard to pull but he kept his hand on the gun whilst I struggled with the trigger and then I fired it.

I heard a bang and I heard a yell.

I turned around and he was holding his thumb and there was blood dripping onto the floor. At this point, I thought I had shot him, so you can imagine the sheer level of panic that I was feeling.

The color drained from my face and I was frozen solid and all I could say was, "are you okay?" which was answered with a "Ma'am, put the gun down."

Basically, I'm freaking out and I look over at the lads for some form of reassurance, which was met with them looking equally as freaked out as me. So I asked,

"Do we need to call someone?"

"Yep. We are definitely gonna have to call someone"

So at this point, my nerves were shattered and I had no idea what was going on or what the procedure is for this sort of thing. I mean, the guy also took it like a champ and barely even winced and kept repeating "little lady, you're fine" – safe to say I did not feel fine nor did the situation, in my eyes, look at all fine.

Luckily the regulars knew what to do and took him to the ER so we were left in the store with another regular shooter.

Everyone else went back out to shoot but I didn't feel like assaulting/ shooting/ potentially murdering anyone else so I decided to sit this round out and talk to the woman that stayed with us and he called and said it wasn't me, something came off the bullet or gun and went into his hand- so no I didn't actually shoot him and he was going to be okay.

The point of this now very funny story is that whilst guns are cool they're also pretty dangerous.

I have no idea how someone can participate in these mass shootings because I didn't even shoot someone, only thought I did, and it was probably the most terrifying moment of my life.

So, if you are around guns, have fun, be safe and try not to send your instructor to the ER.

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