7 Ways To Deal With A Trump Supporter

7 Ways To Deal With A Trump Supporter

Unofficial guide on how to handle your run-of-the-mill Trump fanatic
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The worst has arrived, America. Donald Trump is the presumptive Presidential nominee for the Republican Party and that means millions of Democrats (and even some level-headed Republicans) will have to learn how to cope with an army of angry, overly-tanned Trump supporters. Luckily, there are a few simple tricks when it comes to dealing with those simple-minded dicks.

1. Avoid at all costs anyone wearing a "Make America Great Again" baseball hat.

The hat wearing crowd are most definitely the type of Trump supporters who would rather work through difficult ideological political questions with their fists rather than with their brains, so avoid the red baseball cap the way Donald Trump avoids women over the age of 26.

2. Do not mention trigger words like "experience" or "decorum."

Trump fans do not believe in actual experienced lawmakers being president, nor do they believe in presidents representing the United States of America in a positive light. They do believe, however, that the all day breakfast at McDonald's is evidence of divine intervention.

3. When speaking with a Trump supporter, stand up as straight as possible (straight as a border wall perhaps).

If you can convince a Trump supporter that you might be a segment of the legendary border wall Overlord Trump will build to protect the Stars and Stripes from the "rapists" coming from Mexico, they may just break out into organized and disturbing chants.

4. If a Trump supporter brings up politics, try to forget everything your grandmother has taught you about manners to level the playing field.

Trump supporters are a feisty bunch. If you find yourself locked in conversation with a Trumpist (trendy nickname for Trump supporters) be sure to disregard all civilized rules of polite society as to not intimidate and scare the Trumpist away before you spit the truth about Trump's hefty fortune.

5. If r when a Trump supporter fangirls over Trump's honesty and business success, politely direct them to this video produced by John Oliver.

Not only will it give you around 21 minutes of peace and quiet to reflect on the lowest lows of the radicalized conservative right, but it may also give the Trump supporter some pause before they buy anymore pro-Trump bumper stickers for their cars.

6. When encountering Trump fans wearing any articles of clothing with Trump's face on it, be sure to apply extra sunscreen to avoid the glare from his clementine tan.

While earlier researchers believed the rays shooting from Trump's tastefully tanned face were only dangerous if seen in the flesh, recently scientists have said that the damage can be projected through tacky T-shirts and other Trump related iconography.

7. When encountering a Trump fan, always be sure to remind them that Trump isn't running for "Worst Hairpiece" or "Expression That Most Adequately Portrays The Evils of American Society."

The man is running for president of the United States. Maybe, if we can spread the word that the Miss America Pageant doesn't actually affect American politics, the Trumpists of the world might remember that they are supporting a reality show joker and con man as a legitimate Presidential candidate.

There is always danger when dealing with a Trump supporter, but hopefully these seven helpful tricks can spare you a few agonizing conversations.

The US is a country founded on free speech which means that even if we do not like listening to the garbage spill out of the mouths of Trump and his minions, we do not have the legal right to actually punch them in the face. Thus, by using these simple tricks you can survive your interactions with Trump supporters this election year.

Cover Image Credit: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/L9P4LDGXOmQ/maxresdefault.jpg

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The Trump Presidency Is Over

Say hello to President Mike Pence.

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Remember this date: August 21, 2018.

This was the day that two of President Donald Trump's most-important associates were convicted on eight counts each, and one directly implicated the president himself.

Paul Manafort was Trump's campaign chairman for a few months in 2016, but the charges brought against him don't necessarily implicate Trump. However, they are incredibly important considering was is one of the most influential people in the Trump campaign and picked Mike Pence to be the vice presidential candidate.

Manafort was convicted on five counts of tax fraud, two counts of bank fraud, and one count of failure to file a report of a foreign bank account. And it could have been even worse. The jury was only unanimous on eight counts while 10 counts were declared a mistrial.

Michael Cohen, Trump's personal lawyer, told a judge that Trump explicitly instructed him to break campaign-finance laws by paying two women not to publicly disclose the affairs they had with Trump. Those two women are believed to be Karen McDougal, a Playboy model, and Stormy Daniels, a pornstar. Trump had an affair with both while married to his current wife, Melania.

And then to no surprise, Fox News pundits spun this in the only way they know how. Sara Carter on Hannity said that the FBI and the Department of Justice are colluding as if it's some sort of deep-state conspiracy. Does someone want to tell her that the FBI is literally a part of the DOJ?

The Republican Party has for too long let Trump get away with criminal behavior, and it's long past time to, at the very least, remove Mr. Trump from office.

And then Trump should face the consequences for the crimes he has committed. Yes, Democrats have a role, too. But Republicans have control of both chambers of Congress, so they head every committee. They have the power to subpoena Trump's tax returns, which they have not. They have the power to subpoena key witnesses in their Russia investigations, which they have not.

For the better part of a year I have been asking myself what is the breaking point with Republicans and Trump. It does not seem like there is one, so for the time being we're stuck with a president who paid off two women he had an affair with in an attempt to influence a United States election.

Imagine for a second that any past president had done even a fraction of what Trump has.

Barack Obama got eviscerated for wearing a tan suit. If he had affairs with multiple women, then Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell would be preparing to burn him at the stake. If they won't, then Trump's enthusiastic would be more than happy to do so.

For too long we've been saying that Trump is heading down a road similar to Nixon, but it's evident now that we're way past that point. Donald Trump now has incriminating evidence against him to prove he's a criminal, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller is just getting started.

Will Trump soften the blow and resign in disgrace before impeachment like Nixon did? Knowing his fragile ego, there's honestly no telling what he'll do. But it's high time Trump leaves an office he never should have entered in the first place.

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Being A Republican In Current Times

Apparently that makes me a MAGA hat wearing chauvinist

kentaro
kentaro
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I am very proud conservative in the very liberal state of Washington.

I am also not a fan of Donald Trump. To many, those things are mutually inclusive. However, it is in my opinion that Donald Trump does not represent the character nor the platform of the Republican Party, and for that reason, I remain proud to be conservative.

There are several stark differences between the Republican Party and Trump's Republican party. The actions of a select few individuals, however powerful they may be, do not represent the intentions of a whole. Donald Trump's party preys on the most primitive of emotions, fear.

Fear that the country has forgotten the working class. Fear that the country is being overrun by illegal immigrants committing wanton acts of violence.

A leader who leads with fear is no leader at all - rather those who lack the necessary fortitude and charisma chose this approach. A quick glance at the Republican party platform shows a disconnect between the current Administration and the Party. Trump's 2018 budget has a deficit of one trillion dollars; aren't Republicans the party of fiscal responsibility? The fact that so many Congressional Republicans backed this flawed budget is disheartening and should make any true conservative apoplectic. Furthermore, the type of administration Trump runs is best shown in the cover picture. While I have my own thoughts about abortions, the way Trump handled the situation was not in the spirit of the Republican Party. It is as puzzling as it is alarming to see the lack of women represented in this photo, considering this is legislation primarily affecting female reproductive rights. As the party of Abraham Lincoln, as the champions of inclusiveness, this is not the Republican way.

To be fair, I am pretty moderate in my conservative ideals. And there are even things in the Republican platform that I personally don't agree with it, such as the abstinence-until-marriage sex education because - let's be real - is that happening? No, and all that is doing is creating young teenagers who don't fully understand their own sexual organs. But beyond minor things like that, I am conservative because I feel that government spending is out of control, that marriage is the back that built America, that taxing the rich is no way to create wealth in this nation, and that a strong American military is necessary to have peaceful resolutions to conflicts, among other things. I highly recommend every citizen at least glance at the Federalist Papers, written by 3 of our founding fathers, and I will leave you with the immortal words of Thomas Jefferson: "The Government that governs best...governs least".

kentaro
kentaro

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