10 Reasons A Server Might Spit In Your Food

10 Reasons A Server Might Spit In Your Food

Don't be that customer.
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I’ve been working in restaurants for three years now, and although it seems like a long time to me, I’m considered a baby compared to the veterans of the restaurant business. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there were 2.6 million servers working in more than 600,000 restaurants in the U.S in 2016. Employment in the serving industry is expected to increase 7 percent by 2026, so let’s talk about unacceptable restaurant etiquette and 10 reasons a server might spit in your food.

1. You’re a squatter

If you sit in a server’s section for longer than average, you’re being a bad customer. Think about it. In Wisconsin, server wage is $2.33 plus tips. We expect to earn anywhere from $3 to $10 per table, depending on the bill and, at the restaurant where I work, tables tend to flip every 20 to 40 minutes. Don’t waste our time and take our money by occupying a table in our section for two hours. You and Nancy can talk as long as you want at the Starbucks down the street.

2. Your order is absurd

A menu is a menu, not a guideline. I understand if you hate tomatoes or prefer cheddar instead of swiss, but our establishment is not open for you to build your own meal. If you want something that is not on our menu, do us a favor and make it at home.

If you have any dietary restrictions, are vegan or vegetarian, or suffer from allergies, look up the menu before you come. Then, if you still have questions, feel free to ask them at the table. I am a vegan, or at least I try my best, and I look at the menu beforehand every time I go out to eat. No one want to listen to you ask 15 questions about which menu items are gluten free.

3. You’re needy af

There is nothing worse than a needy group in the middle of a rush. The tables at every restaurant are split up into sections, which can include anywhere from 3 to 15 tables. If your server looks busy, they probably are. If you aren’t the only table in the restaurant, don’t expect your server to treat you like you are.

4. Your kids are insane

Do not let your kids run around my restaurant like it’s a McDonald’s PlayPlace. There are chains for that: Chuck-E-Cheese, The Mineshaft, StoneFire Pizza or Dave & Busters. Those sugar caddies on the tables are for coffee, not your child’s game of 52-sugar packet pick up.

5. You’re a bad tipper

Please see #1. If you can’t leave a decent tip, don’t go out to eat. We are on our feet all day, carrying dangerously hot plates full of delicious food we can’t eat even though we skipped lunch, dreaming about the nap we’re going to take as soon as we get home. We work hard for you people. A good tip is 20 percent, but if your server goes above and beyond, tip accordingly.

6. You’re rude

National Waitstaff Day is May 21st, but you should treat your server with respect every single time you go out to eat. Listen to their opening statement, ask them how their day is going, thank them for bringing you your food, and leave a reasonable tip.

7. You blame us for things we can’t control

If you had to wait 45 minutes for the table, don’t complain to us about it. If your food comes out wrong, more often then not, it’s the cooks’ fault. When you forget your doggie bag, it is not our responsibility to keep it safe for you. If the group behind you smells like pot, we can’t change that.

8. You’re a chronic check splitter

Servers try their best to remember every item that every person in every party ordered, but we aren’t perfect. Most of us are more than happy to split a 2-top, but no way in hell will I split a 15-person bill in the middle of a rush. See #6.

9. You come in on holidays

People eat all day every day. Consequently, servers work all day, every day. We work days, nights, weekends, holidays and sometimes even our birthdays. Don’t comment on how horrible it is that we have to work on Christmas Eve, Jessica from table 2, because your pancakes are the reason we’re here. See #6.

10. You dine and dash

Please re-read #1 for the third time. I make $2.33 per hour. I live off of my tips, so next time you think it’s “cool” to dine and dash, remember that your server thinks you’re a huge douche. See #6.

Cover Image Credit: Elizabeth Sloan

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1. She's independent

A girl who drinks tequila is probably the same girl who has absolutely no problem telling it like it is. She knows what she wants and goes after it.

2. She doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks

Oh, you have a problem with me taking shots and having a good time? Well, get over it! Bartender, a shot with salt and a lime please!

3. Always dancing

Tequila is an 'upper' so instead of sitting at the bar doing nothing, let's dance! Let's get moving!

4. There is never a dull moment

Speaking of dancing, a girl who drinks tequila is always down for a good time. Whether it's going on an adventure or seeing who can take the most shots, a tequila girl is always down to party.

5. While everyone else is starting to get sleepy, she has all the energy

Like I said, tequila is an 'upper' so while the other girls at the bar are starting to feel groggy and sad, she's all over the place having fun and partying on the dancefloor.

6. She's stronger than the girl crying over a vodka cranberry at the bar.

Sad over a breakup? Don't go for the vodka... Tequila will make you feel better in no time! Plus you can challenge the hot guys at the bar to a shot taking contest.

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10 Reasons To Start Vaping In 2019 If You Haven't Yet

"It's safer than cigarettes"

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Vaping is the rage these days among adolescents and college students. Here are some great reasons to start!

1. It's what all the cool kids do

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I wish that I could be like the cool kids

2. It damages your lungs

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It's not like you need these to breathe or anything

3. It pollutes the air

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Let's pollute the air even more!

4. Nicotine addiction

Just the thing I want to be addicted to

5. "Delicious" flavors

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Would you prefer mango flavor or the cancer flavor?

6. The Juul looks like a USB

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Your parents won't suspect a thing

7. Inhale metals like nickel and lead

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Yummmmmm. Lead poisoning isn't a thing.

8. More likely to get infections

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9. You'll eventually want cigarettes

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And you'll make your lungs worse

10. Lung and mouth cancer

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Who doesn't want cancer

In case you couldn't tell, this was very sarcastic. If you want all of these things, then go ahead, start vaping. But you should know what you're getting yourself into and be prepared for the consequences.

If you already vape, I mean no disrespect and I'm not trying to hate on you, but you should seriously stop. Whatever you think is a good reason for vaping really is not a good enough reason to damage your body.

Stop vaping. And if you don't vape, don't start. Just don't.

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