The title speaks for itself; the weirdest and most unfortunate things that have happened to me during my career as a Fresh Market cashier. Puts a spin on the usual snobby costumers yelling at me over every little thing. I've endured this severe pain, now you have to as well.
1. The man that bled all over my register
In his defense, he didn't realize he was hemorrhaging. Nonetheless, this man was profusely bleeding from almost all orifices of his upper body and made little effort to stop when his blood splattered all over the counter. He refused a band-aid, and only accepted a paper towel.
2. The baby that spit up all over my register
I guess you get to a certain point in early motherhood where you stop caring, because this mother had the very audacity to let her baby, who had just spit up all over her shirt, sit on the counter of my register, and continue spitting up in my area. The clean up was phenomenal.
3. The girl who's wheelchair somehow pierced a hole in several boxes of soda
The likelihood of this occurring doesn't even seem existent. A woman was rolling up in her wheel chair, and somehow, a sharp piece of it impaled multiple boxes of soda and they all decided to explode in front of my register.
4. The woman who insisted I didn't work there, and decided she could make up her own deal
I was flabbergasted. This woman came up with random items and started replacing them with the items included in the meal deal. I don't have this type of authority. I don't think anyone has this type of authority, the deals include specific items for a reason, and they're preset into the system. I was so confused with whatever she was doing, that she thought I didn't work there, and she started marching around the store demanding help from random patrons.
5. The guy that asked me to go home with him
It started off so simple. All I wanted to do was ask this dude how his day was, and have him pay for his groceries. He decided that it would somehow benefit him to ask me to come back to his apartment when I got off work, and we could "hang out." Needless to say, my answer was a resounding no.
6. The grandma who persistently tried to set me up with her grandson
Oh, he's cute, funny, has a fantastic job at a computer programming company, AND he's ready to be married? Great. I'm 17 and have no idea who you are.
7. The elderly woman that tried to convert me
It started out as a simple conversation about religion, and it turned into a 30 minute rant about how Jesus Christ could save me and a line of at least 30 angry costumers.
8. The man that decided he should play with my hair
"Your hair, it's so pretty", the man said as he twirled his fingers through my luscious locks. No sir. Did I consent to you touching me? I don't think so. How am I supposed to check you out like this? I'm uncomfortable.
9. The lady that changed her mind...about everything
$200 worth of produce she had unpacked onto my register. "You know what", she said. "I think I've changed my mind...on all of this." And with that, she waltzed out of the door, leaving me to spend an hour returning the rejected fruits and veggies to their respective areas.
10. The woman with the ingenious shoplifting heist
She loaded her cart with $800 worth of gift baskets and walked out the door. In broad daylight. And nobody noticed until it was far too late.
11. The multiple customers who use me as their personal therapist
As much as I would love to stay and chat about your failing marriage, ma'am, I have a line
12. The guy that thought it was appropriate to compliment me and proceed to turn to my coworker and ask if he, too, thought I was pretty.