Go ahead: allow yourself to explore your deepest, most f*cked up fantasies.

The first time I saw the trailer for this, I knew this article had to be written. Zac Efron will always be associated with my pre-teen years. I'm pretty sure he was my first celebrity crush, and probably every other 1997-ish child. "High School Musical," duh.

Zac has always portrayed "that alpha male," who's a little too egoistic, but makes up for it with his bod. Even though he's an actor, I find it hard to disassociate his attractiveness with Ted Bundy — especially when I feel disgusted towards everything that is Ted, his victims, victims family, and law enforcement.

My roommate and I watched the first Netflix series of the "Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes." Towards the end of it, we had a difficult time watching it, because the judge spoke highly of Ted. Like, young women truly believed he was incapable of these things because, wait for it, he was charming! Gosh, it irks me every time I think of the idiocy revolving this case. How can people not see through the bullshit? I will acknowledge talent when I see it, but I refuse to admit this man was anything but a piece of shit. As I say that, I also feel guilty because I want to believe that if perhaps, he had a little more love in his life, none of this would have happened.

And that ladies and gents, is exactly why we suck as people, and a serial killer was able to do so much damage.

Dead *ss, he was so good at pretending, that he was able to get away with murder. He stroked everyone's ego and was suave with words. He was well groomed and said the right things. He was a manipulator and the best of his kind. This kind of power can only last so long before his true character came out.

Six days after the release of Zac Efron's Ted Bundy movie, and I still don't know if I can watch it. I've seen parts and pieces because my friend was playing it when I came over, but there's something about it that I don't quite want to face.

I think it's because I have a feeling I will weirdly be attracted to this character. An animalistic side within us, that only comes out with certain exposure. I feel like this film will have the same effect as the first time I watched "All Ladies Do It" directed by Tinto Brass. I was very confused and didn't know how to handle what I was feeling. I felt like everything I knew about myself was wrong.

I also know, how much I idolize Zac Efron. First off, he's a Libra, his birthday is a day after mine. I mean, like who looks that good at 31? Zac does. I know that I know it's Zac, but my mind is confused. Even for the brief 5 minutes I watched certain scenes, I couldn't help but see Ted, but as Zac, and to be completely honest, I was still attracted.

I've done my research, I've looked through Twitter fights and articles, and found the same split. It's f*cked up, but in a good way. I just want to understand, what these films do to our psyche. Is it subconsciously going to make us want to be with a murder? With someone that has the potential to do this? Are guys going to see this and low-key be more aggressive, and try to resemble these qualities? Or is this another part of human nature that will remain a mystery until further evidence decades from now?

Is exposing this type of darkness beneficial? Are we transcending into an age where we talk about these dark crimes because I'm excited and scared for! At the end of it, I just don't think that someone with the "alpha male" history of Zac Efron should portray Ted Bundy. It should have been a fresh face. An actor that is not known, should have made his first debut as Ted Bundy so our minds would not be clouded by our "High School Musical" sweetheart.